My mum has had lung cancer since oct 2019. It has progressed however we knew from the start she woukd eventually succumb to the disease.
She had immunotherapy to begin with and we lived a relatively normal life with no symptoms. That stopped and she was given months to live early this year. She had 1 round of chemo and since then has never been the same. She has been admitted to hospital for sepsis twice and since she was last released has steadily declined.
We are broken, i have an older sister who lives with her partner. My sister visited on sunday and was very shocked at mums decline.
Its really difficult to deal with. She doesn't really talk and i can tell that when we do have a conversation she is staring right through me. I am close to mum so this new relationship i have with her is painful. I am having to put my feelings aside to protect her. She looks to me like she is in deep depression and bless her soul is still trying to protect me in her own way.
My sister is supportive but i often get texts when she is drunk telling me she cannot bare this and wants to go to sleep and when she wakes up it all be done. snap don't we all .... we butt heads and always have done. My sister is a practical person and that is her strength. I am emotional and will be there emotionally and physically sometimes so much that it is detrimental to me and ny mental health.
My mother had a drinking problem and i went through that with her from age 15 to about mid to late 20s. She overcame it.
This time she is going to die.
I can't bare it.
I don't know how to be around her.
I wish i could run away
