End of life

My mum was given weeks left to live in January but she is still here fighting. She really deteriorated though and it's breaking my heart. 
Mum also says she doesn't want to be here any more. 
 

She is asleep for most of the day - maybe awake for 2 hours. She is eating small amounts and still passing urine. When she does speak she doesn't open her eyes. She isn't in any pain which I'm so grateful for. 
 

I know everyone is different but how long can this stage last. I'm not wishing her away but she suffered enough. 
 

I'm so scared 

 

  • Hi Lisa9929,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm so sorry to hear of your situation - I can only imagine how difficult this must be.

    I would encourage you to speak to her doctor/specialist when you can, particularly if you have questions about what to expect.

    If you feel you'd like to talk things through with one of our nurses, you can reach them on 0808 800 4040 - Monday-Friday, 9-5 (excluding holidays).

    Do also use this forum as much as is helpful for any support or simply to write things down.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • hi 

    firstly sorry for what your going through, when my dad was at the end of life, i was googling all the symptoms and checking him for them, its only human to want to know when but its hard because they go when they are ready 

    if it helps it does sound like your mum is on her final journey and it could be days but she is still eating and drinking they say that stops but my dad was drinking right up to the end x 

     

  • Hi Lisa,

    Unoftunately, I am in a similar situation. My mother has been given a few weeks ( ' probably more than 2-3 weeks but definitely no longer than 3 months' is what we were told).That was about 2 months ago now, and I see her deteriorating but somehow this deterioration feels like it's happening in slow motion.After 2 months we are at the stage where she still eats once or twice a day , she still fells hungry despite throwing up so often.She sleeps around 80% of the time. She still urinates. I keep finding myself looking at new signs which can tell me how much longer this torture will take, but cannot see anything new. The hospice keeps telling us that they can see some deterioration overall, but they cannot tell when she is going to die. It's driving me crazy.

    As you, I am also super scared of the future and despite wanting to end this torture now, I am also terrfied of her not being here anymore.

    Lots of love,Diana

  • Thanks for the reply x 

    Mum passed away peacefully on Thursday - I'm devestated but she is no longer suffering x

  • Hi Diana 

    Mum passed away peacefully on Thursday 

    Mum was given weeks but lasted 6 months so no one could tell. 
     

    Main thing for me was when mum wasn't responding and then she didn't eat or drink for 5 days x

    Sending much love x 

  •  

    Hi Lisa,

    I am so sorry to hear that you mum had passed and offer my sincere condolences.

    There is no accurate way of telling how much time we have left.  At best this is just a 'guesstimate' on behalf of the doctors, but many do live way past their predicted time.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Hi Lisa,

     

    I am sorry to hear that, my condoleances!  I hope you are okay.

     

    Diana