Mum has terminal lung cancer

Hi everyone, this is my first post here. Not something I wanted to do but this is where I am. My mum was diagnosed with Lung Cancer back in January. She has always been super fit before that. The only sig. We had was she coughed up a little blood and then things snowballed from there. It turned out she had Metastatic Kidney Cancer and now Some small tumours in the brain. She has been managing ok but things seem to be getting worse. She had Srs radiotherapy for her brain mets and that seemed to go ok. We are about 1 and a half weeks later now and she is really struggling. Constantly tired and struggling to get around like she did. She says she's constantly tired and has a lot of aching on her right hand side.

She's not in any pain now we got the medication sorted but I'm constantly worried. I'm hoping she will pick back up again. She had a patch before where she was constantly tired and she came back round to be more active. I'm worried out of my mind that she will keep declining. Could this tiredness be down to the brain radiotherapy. She seemed ok when she had it but she was on steroids. The doctor said 6-9 months then 9-12 if they can get control of the cancer. She is supposed to be having radiotherapy for her lung but I'm not sure what will happen with her feeling weaker. She wasn't so bad only a few days ago and now she is very tired again. I just don't know how to cope with losing my mum. She's my life and I will be lost without her. I've been living with her at home for the past 18 years due to my own illness. We are so close and it feels like my world is falling apart. I know other people go through this but I am struggling. This is the hardest thing I will ever have to do. Muly mum is 65, she still feels so young to me. Thank you for reading. 

  • Hi Jolamine, you are right. I don't think whatever age we are we are ready to let go. If only our mum could be with us always. Yes he is doing ok thanks. He still has underlying conditions but he's had them for a long while. It was my mum who kept him as well as he has been but it's up to him now with the carers. He needs to accept all the help he can get to stay as well as possible.

    I believe so Jolamine, it used to be really good many years ago but new owners took over and it went downhill. I moved there 20 years ago from my original surgery so I'm actually going back to where I originally went. It is much better than when I left so I am happy to be there. Hopefully they may be able to help me. As you said nothing lost by checking. Maybe there is something that has advanced that will enable them to find something. I definitely will Jolamine. Thank you so much. I hope all is well with you. You take care. X

    Simon

  •  

    Hi Simon,

    I'm glad to hear that you are returning to a practice that you know and, that you feel that it has improved since you left. It is important that you have faith in your GP, because you never know when you may need them.

    Here's hoping that they will be able to help you. Please let me know.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

     

  • Hi Jolamine, yes it has definitely improved. They have built a new building and added extra services. My mum actually went there and said it was ok now so I am glad to have moved. There's nothing worse than when if feels like a doctor is disinterested in you. My original doctor I had for 15 years there and he was really good, he knew my situation well but unfortunately he emigrated so I had to change doctors. Thank you very much Jolamine, I will do! Hopefully they can reassess me and maybe be able to help me in some way, I hope  everything is ok Jolamine, you take care. X

    Simon

  •  

    Hi Simon,

    I am glad to hear that the practice has improved and that your mum has already endorsed their services - I don't think that you'll get any better recommendation than that. Sorry for the delay in repying. I am trying to sell my practice at present and am being swamped by emails, etc.

    Regards,

    Jolamine xx

     

  • Hi Jolamine, I hope you are well. Yes it definitely appears to have improved. I haven't had an appointment yet but my mum did like a few of the doctors there so that is good enough for me! No worries at all Jolamine, It sounds like you are very busy at the moment. I hope you manage to sort everything out you need to. You take care. X

    Simon

  •  

    Hi Smon,

    I am sorry that I didn't manage to writ to you before CHristmas. My son went into hospital on 22nd December and we were all on tenderhooks. Fortunately, he has come through without any sign of the paralysis we were advised could follow. It will take time to see how successful it has been, but we're glad that all has gone well so far. I have also had a hitch in the sale of my business, which I had hoped to conclude before Christmas, until my solicitor was pinged for Covid. Still, I'm hoping to see it all sorted by the end of January.

    I have been thinking of you over Christmas and was wondering how you coped? That first Christmas without your mum is always difficult, but I hope that you managed to celebrate it as she would have wanted you to do. Have you managed to make an appointment for yourself at the new clinic yet? I'm sure that this is something that your mum would be happy to see too?

    I hope that you have a Hapy New Year when it comes and, that it is a better year for you than this one has been.

    Look after yourself.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Hi Jolamine, no problem at all. I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I'm glad he is doing ok although I know this must be a terribly stressful time for you all. My thoughts are with you all. Ah no Covid is really affecting things at the moment. I'm sorry you didn't manage to get the sale through. Hopefully you can get that done and your son makes a good recovery. 
    Thank you Jolamine, I managed ok. I must admit I didn't feel like celebrating much but I got through it. I know my mum would want me to be happy but I think she would understand how hard it was without her. I haven't yet Jolamine, I went there the other day to sort my prescription out. I was fully expecting them to call me in but they didn't. I will make an appointment shortly though. I did just have my booster jab the other day, best to keep as safe as possible if you can. I hope you are managing ok with all this Covid being around. 
    I'm so sorry to hear about your son, my thoughts are with you Jolamine. You take care and please let me know how he is doing if you get chance. Thank you, I hope 2022 is a good year for you too Jolamine. Happy new year and you take care. X

    Simon

  •  

    Hi Simon,

    I thought that you would find Christmas especially hard this year, but I'm glad to hear that you got through it. It's always hard to see everyone so happy, when someone special is missing from your table. Still, you're right, your mum would want you to be happy, although she would also understand why you felt as you did.

    I'm glad to hear that you've had your booster jab. We're both fully covered too. With this new strain, it gives us some peace of mind. We are relieved that my son's operation is behind him now and that he's not suffered any paralysis. I will certainly let you know how he gets on, although it may take some time before we know how successful it has been.

    I hope that 2022 is a better year for you and wish you a Very Happy and Healthy New Year.

    Jolamine xx

  • Hi Jolamine, sorry for the late reply. I'm glad that your sons operation went as well as could be. I'm so sorry to hear that he has these problems. I hope the operation went well and you get good news in the future. Yes it was very difficult, nothing was the same. I used to love Christmas but the magic has gone. I know I'm not young but my mum used to always make it special! I know these are probably pretty normal things to feel after a first Christmas when losing someone. 
    Thets good that you have your jabs, these new types are always cropping up, best to be as safe as possible. It's a difficult time for everyone at the moment. Thank you Jolamine, I hope 2022 is a good year for you too, I wish you lots of happiness and good health. Many thanks for all your support, I really do appreciate it. 
    You take care. X

    Simon

  •  

    Hi Simon,

    The first Christmas after losing your mum, who was always the centre of festivities, is always a difficult one. I hope that this will get easier as the years pass, but it can still take some time.

    The speed with which this new variant is spreading is frightening, even though it doesn't seem to have such serious ramefications as some of the other variants. I understand that there is yet another strain which has 47 different variants, which was announced yesterday. Two of my staff who have had their 3 jabs, went down with the new strain between Christmas and New Year, so it's closer than I'd like it to be.

    We are just waiting for healing to take place before we know how effective my son's operation has been. I will let you know when we find out.

    Regards,

    Jolamine xx