Hi,my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer just over 18months ago, she also has it in her lymph nodes and rib,she has had immunotherapy and radiation therapy,she seemed to pic up a little bit,but now she is in a lot of pain and lost loads of weight, last few days she has spent most of it in bed, she in 40 mg morphine twice a day plus the liquid when needed, the consultant said he is considering cemo but thinks the side effects would be too much, can anyone tell me if this could be the end or could she pic up again,im at a loss as to what to expect 

Hi Loo1512, I'm sorry to hear that. I can't really help on what could happen next. I know Jolamine will be able to help you more. From my experience with my mum once you are too weak for treatment it usually means that there isn't too much more they can do. I know everybody is different though. Try and savour every moment you can with your mum. All the time you can spend together is special. My thoughts are with you and your mum. X

Simon 

Hi Jolamine, off course. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you manage to get everything sorted out ok. Thank you, my thoughts are with you. You take care. X

Simon

Hi Simon,

Many thanks. 

Jolamine xx

Hi Simon,

Would you believe that we still haven't held Archie's funeral. There was a delay in getting the death certificate from the hospital, Then we were told that it would take up to 10 days to register it and a further 2-3 weeks to get a funeral slot. We were fotunate in that the funeral director managed to persuade the registrar to  hurry things up a little, but the service won't take place until Wednesday. The delay has been put down to Covid, as the numbers rise here again. This makes a delay of almost a month since he died and, we will be glad to be able to finally lay him to rest.

We enjoyed our break with the family. It was great to see our grandchildren again. Our lodge was right on the edge of the loch and had a 19 mile nature trail around the loch. It was the ideal setting and my granddaughters enjoyed paddle boarding on the loch. It was so peaceful too. There was no wi-fi on site and it was great to get away from technology for a few days.  I have been thinking about you  and wonder how you are coping at the moment?

Regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamime, I'm so sorry I didn't reply sooner. I didn't get a notification of your message so I thought you hadn't replied. I was thinking then about how you were doing and I saw the message. How have you been. I'm guessing the funeral has taken place. I hope it all went well and Archie is able to rest now. My thoughts are with you.
I'm glad you enjoyed your holiday. It sounds really nice there. I think sometimes it's good to get away from The technology, it is too addictive so you end up on your phone all the time. I don't think we realise how much we rely on it! I bet it was nice walking round the lodge, 19 miles does sound quite big though if you were to do the whole trail! I'm doing ok thank you, pretty much the same. Some up days some bad days, just trying to get by as best as I can. Best wishes.

Simon x

HI Simon,

This must be telepathy! I was just thinking yesterday that I'd need to contact you again, but wondered whether or not you were trying to keep away from the forum for a while. There have been a number of people newly diagnosed who have needed some support and I have been very busy here.

Yes, we got to hold Archie's funeral a month after he died. Sadly, nobody attended from his care home, despite having told us that they would. There were only 4 of us at his funeral, which seemed very strange. However, it was a very fitting service for him and, I'm glad that he is now at peace.

It was great to catch up with my son and his family on our holiday. My hubby and I both had our mobility scooters with us, which were a great help  in covering some of the 19 miles. I agree that it was great to get away from technology for a few days. We certainly do become too embroiled in it at times.

I am glad to hear that you are getting by. You will struggle for quite a while yet, but should gradually come to accept all that has happened. People say that it gets easier with time. I'm not sure that it does. There will always be a void, but you learn to accept it with time. How are your dad and your sister coping? I hope that he is still ok with the carers coming in.

Thinking of you all.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, really isn't they strange! Great minds think alike! Ah of course I totally understand. There are always more people who need support. You do an amazing job helping out all those people. I for one am very grateful for all the support you give me. 
I'm glad to hear the funeral went ok. Thst is a shame that nobody came from his care home though. I can imagine it was strange with just 4 people. My mum had around 20 people and that didn't feel enough. I think all that matters is that the important people are there though. I'm glad Archie is at peace now and hope you are coping ok.

Ah I see, the mobility scooter would definitely help, 19 miles is a fair trip! it must be nice to just get out and get some fresh air though. I do it myself, I don't get out enough. There's nothing better than fresh air but sometimes you just end up staying in. I'm glad you enjoyed seeing all your family! You are right Jolamine, we are very attached to out technology. Too much I think but I'm just as bad as everyone else. I need my WiFi too!

I agree Jolamine, I thought it might get a little easier over time but I feel pretty much the same now as I did after it happened. Still can't really accept it has and I do get moments where I suddenly think she's not here and have a little panic attack sort of thing. It doesn't happen a lot but every now and then. I also get some really sad days out of the blue. I'm fine one minute then something gets in my head and that's it. I imagine all this is fairly normal and you have heard of lots of people having it. My dad and sister are ok thanks. My dad is happy with the carers, he's still not fully accepting of the help but they are doing what that need to which is all that matters. My sister has a busy life with her family but I know she does struggle from time to time. Her husband just had Covid but he seems to be recovering from it now luckily. We still have to be very careful with everything going on these days. Thank you Jolamine! You take care. X

Simon

Hi Simon,

The way you are feeling sounds perfectly normal. What you will find is that you have suddenly had a few days when something else takes over and your mum is not your overawing thought of the day. As I said to you before, I talk to my mum's photo. I still do this after 24 years, although not nearly as often as I used to do.  This doesn't mean that I've forgotten her, I will always hold her in my heart, but life goes on and, life is for living. My mum would have been the first person to want me to live my life and, I'm sure that yours would have wanted this too.

I am glad to hear that your dad is happy with his carers now. I am so sorry to hear about your brother-in-law and I hope that he recovers from it fully. We had our booster Covid and flu vaccinations yesterday, so have done all that we can to avoid it. 

Have you made any move to see your GP again about getting further investigation for your own health? I am sure that you would feel more able to get out in the fresh air if they can do anything  to  help you further. I sincerely hope that they can by now.

Don't forget that I am always here if you want to chat.

Kind regards,
Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, I am still talking to her a lot. I guess that's something I will always do like you. I always need help and advice and there's no one better than your mum to help you out. I know she is still with me as I can feel how she influences everything I do. She was always the rational person whereas my dad would just do anything he fancies! Luckily my mum taught me to be more sensible. I do have the odd day where as you said other things happen and you seem to manage and other days usually when something happens and you want to speak to her is when it gets me. I know you are right and she would just want me to be happy. I think that's all out mums want, I know I was lucky to have her for as long as I did. I just wish I could have had her a bit longer. 

Thanks Jolamine, he does seem to be feeling better. How taste and smell is coming back now so hopefully he will make a full recovery. That's good Jolamine, get every protection you can. They have offered the booster too my dad so he will be getting his done shortly. Best to take all the precautions you can. I know it's not always in our hands but if you take all the precautions you can there's not much else you can do! 
 

I haven't yet Jolamine but I will be doing. At the moment I'm changing surgery's as my current one seems to be going downhill. Hopefully this will give me a chance to see if I can get reassessed and see whether there's anything that can be done to help. Thank you for thinking of me Jolamine, it means a lot. Anything that could help would be worth looking in to! Thank you so much Jolamine, that's very kind of you. I'm always here too if you need to chat. Take care. X

Simon

Hi Simon,

I agree . There's nobody quite like your mum to help you out when you need it. We all wish that we could have them forever, but sadly, we all have to go when our time arrives.

It is good to hear that your dad is feeling better and, I do hope that he makes a full recovery. I am glad to hear that he will be getting his booster jag soon - you can't be too careful.

You are doing the right thing in changing practices, when you are not happy with your current one. I hope that your new one is better. Do let me know how you get on with being reassessed. You may get no further forward and, there's nothing lost if you do. On the other hand, diagnostics have improved a lot in recent years, so you never know. It certainly seems worth a try.

Take care.

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, you are right. I don't think whatever age we are we are ready to let go. If only our mum could be with us always. Yes he is doing ok thanks. He still has underlying conditions but he's had them for a long while. It was my mum who kept him as well as he has been but it's up to him now with the carers. He needs to accept all the help he can get to stay as well as possible.

I believe so Jolamine, it used to be really good many years ago but new owners took over and it went downhill. I moved there 20 years ago from my original surgery so I'm actually going back to where I originally went. It is much better than when I left so I am happy to be there. Hopefully they may be able to help me. As you said nothing lost by checking. Maybe there is something that has advanced that will enable them to find something. I definitely will Jolamine. Thank you so much. I hope all is well with you. You take care. X

Simon

Hi Jolamine, you are right. I don't think whatever age we are we are ready to let go. If only our mum could be with us always. Yes he is doing ok thanks. He still has underlying conditions but he's had them for a long while. It was my mum who kept him as well as he has been but it's up to him now with the carers. He needs to accept all the help he can get to stay as well as possible.

I believe so Jolamine, it used to be really good many years ago but new owners took over and it went downhill. I moved there 20 years ago from my original surgery so I'm actually going back to where I originally went. It is much better than when I left so I am happy to be there. Hopefully they may be able to help me. As you said nothing lost by checking. Maybe there is something that has advanced that will enable them to find something. I definitely will Jolamine. Thank you so much. I hope all is well with you. You take care. X

Simon

Hi Simon,

I'm glad to hear that you are returning to a practice that you know and, that you feel that it has improved since you left. It is important that you have faith in your GP, because you never know when you may need them.

Here's hoping that they will be able to help you. Please let me know.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, yes it has definitely improved. They have built a new building and added extra services. My mum actually went there and said it was ok now so I am glad to have moved. There's nothing worse than when if feels like a doctor is disinterested in you. My original doctor I had for 15 years there and he was really good, he knew my situation well but unfortunately he emigrated so I had to change doctors. Thank you very much Jolamine, I will do! Hopefully they can reassess me and maybe be able to help me in some way, I hope  everything is ok Jolamine, you take care. X

Simon

Hi Simon,

I am glad to hear that the practice has improved and that your mum has already endorsed their services - I don't think that you'll get any better recommendation than that. Sorry for the delay in repying. I am trying to sell my practice at present and am being swamped by emails, etc.

Regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, I hope you are well. Yes it definitely appears to have improved. I haven't had an appointment yet but my mum did like a few of the doctors there so that is good enough for me! No worries at all Jolamine, It sounds like you are very busy at the moment. I hope you manage to sort everything out you need to. You take care. X

Simon

Hi Smon,

I am sorry that I didn't manage to writ to you before CHristmas. My son went into hospital on 22nd December and we were all on tenderhooks. Fortunately, he has come through without any sign of the paralysis we were advised could follow. It will take time to see how successful it has been, but we're glad that all has gone well so far. I have also had a hitch in the sale of my business, which I had hoped to conclude before Christmas, until my solicitor was pinged for Covid. Still, I'm hoping to see it all sorted by the end of January.

I have been thinking of you over Christmas and was wondering how you coped? That first Christmas without your mum is always difficult, but I hope that you managed to celebrate it as she would have wanted you to do. Have you managed to make an appointment for yourself at the new clinic yet? I'm sure that this is something that your mum would be happy to see too?

I hope that you have a Hapy New Year when it comes and, that it is a better year for you than this one has been.

Look after yourself.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, no problem at all. I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I'm glad he is doing ok although I know this must be a terribly stressful time for you all. My thoughts are with you all. Ah no Covid is really affecting things at the moment. I'm sorry you didn't manage to get the sale through. Hopefully you can get that done and your son makes a good recovery. 
Thank you Jolamine, I managed ok. I must admit I didn't feel like celebrating much but I got through it. I know my mum would want me to be happy but I think she would understand how hard it was without her. I haven't yet Jolamine, I went there the other day to sort my prescription out. I was fully expecting them to call me in but they didn't. I will make an appointment shortly though. I did just have my booster jab the other day, best to keep as safe as possible if you can. I hope you are managing ok with all this Covid being around. 
I'm so sorry to hear about your son, my thoughts are with you Jolamine. You take care and please let me know how he is doing if you get chance. Thank you, I hope 2022 is a good year for you too Jolamine. Happy new year and you take care. X

Simon

Hi Simon,

I thought that you would find Christmas especially hard this year, but I'm glad to hear that you got through it. It's always hard to see everyone so happy, when someone special is missing from your table. Still, you're right, your mum would want you to be happy, although she would also understand why you felt as you did.

I'm glad to hear that you've had your booster jab. We're both fully covered too. With this new strain, it gives us some peace of mind. We are relieved that my son's operation is behind him now and that he's not suffered any paralysis. I will certainly let you know how he gets on, although it may take some time before we know how successful it has been.

I hope that 2022 is a better year for you and wish you a Very Happy and Healthy New Year.

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, sorry for the late reply. I'm glad that your sons operation went as well as could be. I'm so sorry to hear that he has these problems. I hope the operation went well and you get good news in the future. Yes it was very difficult, nothing was the same. I used to love Christmas but the magic has gone. I know I'm not young but my mum used to always make it special! I know these are probably pretty normal things to feel after a first Christmas when losing someone. 
Thets good that you have your jabs, these new types are always cropping up, best to be as safe as possible. It's a difficult time for everyone at the moment. Thank you Jolamine, I hope 2022 is a good year for you too, I wish you lots of happiness and good health. Many thanks for all your support, I really do appreciate it. 
You take care. X

Simon

Hi Simon,

The first Christmas after losing your mum, who was always the centre of festivities, is always a difficult one. I hope that this will get easier as the years pass, but it can still take some time.

The speed with which this new variant is spreading is frightening, even though it doesn't seem to have such serious ramefications as some of the other variants. I understand that there is yet another strain which has 47 different variants, which was announced yesterday. Two of my staff who have had their 3 jabs, went down with the new strain between Christmas and New Year, so it's closer than I'd like it to be.

We are just waiting for healing to take place before we know how effective my son's operation has been. I will let you know when we find out.

Regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, yes it is frightening with these constant new strains popping up. I think this is the future for now, new variations keep popping up. Is there another one already! I didn't catch that one but it doesn't surprise me, all we can do is have out jabs and try to keep safe. Sorry to hear your work stsff have been affected. It can't be easy for you or them, it's difficult for everyone at the moment I think.

I am hoping your sons operation was effective and you do get good news in the future. Yes please let me know how he is doing. It was difficult at Christmas, I imagined it would be a struggle but I just didn't have any enthusiasm for it and my dad never fusses. It was my mum that always orchestrated everything but I think that's normal. Mums do everything! I can imagine it will take quite a bit of time before getting used to it again, I know the first christmas is just the start. I guessing it will take many years before anything feels normal again. I hope everything is as well as possible for you Jolamine. Many thanks. X

Simon