Hi Simon,

I suspect that your moments of panic when you realise that your mum is no longer there, show that you are still in the denial stage to some extent. It takes people different  amounts of time to fully leave this stage behind and start to reach acceptance. This is upsetting, but it still sounds as if you are coping well - time is the only thing that will help with this.

It will be good for 3 of us to visit Archie because he has missed the company of other visitors, who talk to him when they are visiting other resiidents. Unfortunately none of the other residents can hold a conversation any longer and, this makes it a long day for him. He did have one lady who spoke to him, but sadly she passed away last year.

I totally agree that restrictions are being lifted far too soon. I fully intend to insist on the wearing of masks and the use of all PPE in my clinic for the foreseeable furure.

I am doing well thanks Simon and am very busy at present.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, I'm sorry to hear that. It must be very difficult for Archie if he has no one he can chat with. That's good that he can talk to the other visitors. I think you will all be relived that you can finally start the visits again! It must have been very difficult for you all. This Covid has not been good for anybody. I agree, I don't know how you can just pick a day and decide that's the one to let up the restrictions. On the one hand they are saying the numbers are going up and the next minute they sat masks are optional. It doesn't help, especially for you if you have your own clinic. I would definitely try and stay as safe as possible for now regardless what tour government tells us!

I think you are right Jolamine, I know that she has gone but there is definitely a part of me that hasn't accepted it. I know she's not coming back and when I do get upset it seems to be more painful now than it was when it first happened. It's more of a longing because I miss her so much. I think a lot of the time my head tries to forget it's happened as that's the only way I feel I can cope for now. I understand it's all about time. Hopefully down the line I will be able to look back and smile rather that just feeling pain. 
That's good Jolamine, you take care and make sure you don't over work yourself if you can. Best wishes. X

Simon

Hi Simon,

Yes it is hard for Archie, but he needs a home that offers nursing care as well as accommodation. Although his home takes both, it seems to attract people who have dementia, or people who have had a stroke and are non-verbal. The more serious cases are housed upstairs, but there are a number of people downstairs who should really be upstairs.This means that we are always hoping that any new resident is more vocal.

I think I said before, that it takes people different tims to come to terms with what has happened. It is not unusual to feel more pain than you did at first. Now that you are no longer involved with funeral arrangements and settling your mum's affairs, you will find that you have more time to dwell on what has happened.There is no doubt that one of these days you will smile and look back on happier times.

Take care,

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, ah yes I understand. It must be very difficult for him. You would like someone who can chat with him but thst does sound like it doesn't happen very often unfortunately. It must be hard for him with having no company. That is why it's so important that 3 of you are able to visit him! I hope he is doing ok. 
Thanks Jolamine, yes the days are strange now. It doesn't feel like it was over 2 months ago but it is. Some days aren't so bad and others are awful but I know you just have to get through them and hopefully I can smile down the line like you said. Thank you Jolamine, I hope you are doing ok. X

Simon

Hi Simon,

Sorry for the tardy reply. We have been busy getting ready to go away for a few days and, we are planning to meet up with my son and his family, which we are really looking forward to, as we haven't sen our granddaughters for over a year now - all I can say is, thank goodness for What's App and Facebook, which has kept us all in touch.

I plan to steer clear of the internet until we get home next weekend, so please don't worry if you don't hear from me until then.We managed to see Archie on Wednesday. He was in good form and still walking. I discovered when we were there that the ferrule on the end of his walking stick had a big chunk out of the foot, which I'm surprised the care staff hadn't picked up on. Hopefully, replacing this will save another fall!

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine, no worries at all. That will be nice for you, I imagine that you will be glad to see your granddaughters after all this time! It's been an awful year, hopefully things get a little bit more back to normal in the future! Yes technology can sometimes be too much hassle but it is definitely very useful at the moment. It's been the only way to see others for lots of people recently. 
No worries at all Jolamine, you have a good time. I'm glad Archie is doing ok, I'm surprised the staff never noticed that with his walking stick. You would think they would have seen it. Best to get it fixed to make sure he is as safe as possible. You have a great time Jolamine. X

Simon

Thank you Simon,

We are now all ready to take off - Hooray!

Will be in touch when we get back after the weekend.

Jolamine xx

Hi Simon,

I am sorry for the delay in replying to you since we came back from our break. I  have been especially busy since our rreturn. Archie has has a chest infection for the past week. We had the doctor out to see him in the home on Tuesday. She said that she wanted him to have an x-ray, but didn't prioritise it, so we were still waiting to hear about this, when we got a phone call from the home yesterday morning to say that they had an ambulance there and he was being taken to hospital.

We met him there and were shocked at the change in his appearance since Tuesday. We waited 6 hours with him in A & E until he was admitted with pneumonia and an extensive infection in his lung. I wasn't allowed to visit him last night, as it is a booking system for visiting and limited to one person, for only 45 minutes. I was told that all visiting slots were taken.  I was furious when I dropped up some things for him to find the ward packed with visitors with as many as 3 to some beds and I still was't allowed to see him.

When we phoned up this morning to arrange a visit, we were told that he had had a bad night and was quite unsettled. An hour later we received a phone call from his doctor to go to the hospital. We stayed with him all day and left at 4.30 to give him a chance to sleep, as he hadn't slept at all last night. We got a phone call at 4.50 to go back as he had deteriorated very suddenly again. Sadly, he gave up the fight at 7.30pm. We will miss him.

I hope that you are still coping.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Simon,

I am sorry for the delay in replying to you since we came back from our break. I  have been especially busy since our rreturn. Archie has has a chest infection for the past week. We had the doctor out to see him in the home on Tuesday. She said that she wanted him to have an x-ray, but didn't prioritise it, so we were still waiting to hear about this, when we got a phone call from the home yesterday morning to say that they had an ambulance there and he was being taken to hospital.

We met him there and were shocked at the change in his appearance since Tuesday. We waited 6 hours with him in A & E until he was admitted with pneumonia and an extensive infection in his lung. I wasn't allowed to visit him last night, as it is a booking system for visiting and limited to one person, for only 45 minutes. I was told that all visiting slots were taken.  I was furious when I dropped up some things for him to find the ward packed with visitors with as many as 3 to some beds and I still was't allowed to see him.

When we phoned up this morning to arrange a visit, we were told that he had had a bad night and was quite unsettled. An hour later we received a phone call from his doctor to go to the hospital. We stayed with him all day and left at 4.30 to give him a chance to sleep, as he hadn't slept at all last night. We got a phone call at 4.50 to go back as he had deteriorated very suddenly again. Sadly, he gave up the fight at 7.30pm. We will miss him.

I hope that you are still coping.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx