Weeks to live

I don't usually use forums but I feel if I write down how I feel it might help....

My younger brother who is only 44 was diagnosed 2 days ago with aggressive lung and liver cancer, unbeknown to everyone he had originally been diagnosed in December 2020, he lives alone and 2 hours away from us so he chose not to worry my parents who are in their 70s and myself by not telling us he had cancer and was undergoing chemotherapy alone thinking it would cure it and nobody would be any the wiser but in march he had severe stomach pains and eventually was admitted to hospital where they found it had spread to the liver and was terminal. He has weeks left now and he is in so much pain and my heart is breaking as I type this the tears are flooding I can't sleep can't stop crying I can't bear the thought of him alone and in pain in hospital as we are restricted in seeing him due to covid and I feel like I'm losing my mind I can't concentrate on anything. I feel like its a bad dream 

Parents
  • Hi, i hate the way covid interferes with people being near loved ones during this time. My husband passed at 44 one year ago (3rd April) from similar- oesophageal cancer that had gone into his liver. Lockdown had just started and we brought him home from the hospice and i looked after him on my own with a little help from my mother in law. A nurse came daily to help with refiling pain driver but i did the rest, while looking after our two kids as well! We were loaned a hospital bed which we put next to ours and we were all with him playing cards and arguing about who won when he passed away quietly,  normal family life right till the end, that's what he wanted and i wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm not sure of your situation but is there any way you and your parents could nurse him together at home? It was tough, i was up every 3 hours at night doing his pain meds, when he couldn't get to the toilet anymore a nurse came and put a catheter in. He was very strong and determined though to be as little trouble as possible,  i couldn't imagine him being in hospital and away from us those last weeks, isolation at this time is awful. hugs to you and your family, i can  honestly say this is the hardest thing i have ever been through xx

Reply
  • Hi, i hate the way covid interferes with people being near loved ones during this time. My husband passed at 44 one year ago (3rd April) from similar- oesophageal cancer that had gone into his liver. Lockdown had just started and we brought him home from the hospice and i looked after him on my own with a little help from my mother in law. A nurse came daily to help with refiling pain driver but i did the rest, while looking after our two kids as well! We were loaned a hospital bed which we put next to ours and we were all with him playing cards and arguing about who won when he passed away quietly,  normal family life right till the end, that's what he wanted and i wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm not sure of your situation but is there any way you and your parents could nurse him together at home? It was tough, i was up every 3 hours at night doing his pain meds, when he couldn't get to the toilet anymore a nurse came and put a catheter in. He was very strong and determined though to be as little trouble as possible,  i couldn't imagine him being in hospital and away from us those last weeks, isolation at this time is awful. hugs to you and your family, i can  honestly say this is the hardest thing i have ever been through xx

Children
No Data