Hi 

I have found out today myself that my dad has been diagnosed with bowel cancer. The news have been so hard to digest and I'm not coping at all. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I'm so angry at life right now and I'm sure you are too. There's nothing in this world that could make it any easier. I don't want to lose my dad and it hurts so bad. Sending you all the hugs.

I'm so sorry for Ur dad too.  I think iv gone through my angry stage in the first week. I was so bitter about everything and with everyone.  Especially with covid. There's a year of memories and prescious time missing. And I really found it difficult to not be angry at people not following rules still. I guess I was looking for someone to blame.

Now I just feel incredibly helpless and extremely sad. 

What is the prognosis for Ur dad. Is he able to get treatment? How is Ur dad coping? 

Yeah I'm definitely at my angry stage now but the helpless feeli is here and the sadness and it's very overwhelming at times. I'll have a meltdown and then I'll be okish and then back to a meltdown. I just wish I could take it all away. Covid means we can't even travel to see him and that's so hard because I want to be there to hug him and cry with him and tell him I love him. It's so unfair that people have been so carefree about the pandemic, it's definitely prolonged it and caused so much damage. 
 

They're going to find out in 10 days if they're going to be able to operate on him and I really really hope they'll be able to. From what they said it's quite big, he needs a set of scans and then they'll know. My situation is in no way the same as yours as we don't know yet what's what and my heart breaks for you and your family. I wish there was a magic wand that would have the power to take all the suffering away

I'm just waiting for diagnosis and sure its really bad news too.Im 60 August too.So so sorry to here this news and wish you all some peaceful time together. 

Lmmrose, So sorry to hear about your mum. My wife was exactly like your mum in every detail. This is about your mum and how you are feeling. I'm not going in to detail about my wifes passing. just be there for your mum and dad. your dad will need you more then ever when the time comes. I know you say you have brought your mum home. she will like that, family around her. it's going to be hard for all concerned. and my heart felt  thoughts are with you Lmmrose

Thank u for Ur kind words.

It is so hard. Im spending all the time I can with them. But in the back of my mind I feel like we are waiting, which just riddles me with guilt.

Im so sorry about Ur wife. U say it was similar. 

Can I ask how long it took for Ur wife to pass? 

Hi [@Lmmrose]‍ , noticed it was you who had commented on my post about my mum. how is your mum? And how are you? Thinking of you all xx

Hi mum turned 60 yesterday. I'm pleased she go there. I think that would of been a milestone for her.  She is very tired at the mo. And a bit swollen. She's not eating very much. And what she does eat she seems to bring up or down. 

I'm ok. Just feel useless. And I feel guilty as I just feel like I'm waiting. Of course I don't want her to go but I know shes not getting better.  It's just so hard seeing her like she is now. And everytime I leave I have to say goodbye just incase. 

We are now 3 weeks in to. ' weeks not months '

Good morning [@Lmmrose]‍ 

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your mum. I have been reading your posts, and I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing? How is your mum feeling?

Having been through something similar with my mum very, very recently, I genuinely understand how absolutely heartbreaking is to be told there is nothing further there can be done, but also how shocking it is to have this news given to you when it comes from something you think is an illness that can be treated. My mum was admitted into hospital, with a suspected chest infection, after various scans, she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, that had already spread to spine, and brain. We were told there was nothing that could be done, and my mum was too weak to have any palliative treatments. She was 55 years old.

I wondered if maybe you had been able to spend time with your mum yet? My advice if you're able is to just see her as much as you can. It's moments that you will both treasure so much. Are you able to have help with your mum's care? 

Sending you a lot of love, strength and good thoughts for you and your mum. I hope you get to spend the time with your mum you both truly deserve. If you need a chat, please message me. I have found this forum unbelievably helpful, and full of wonderfully kind humans who have a very good idea of what it is that you're going through. You aren't alone in this XXX

Thank u for Ur kind words. 

It was her birthday yesterday. She turned 60. She is ok. Seems in good spirits. She is very tired.  My dad is with her and coping well. She has a carer in twice a day to wash and change her.  She take about an hour to recover after this each time.  She seems to feel sick at the moment. I'm not sure if that is not expected. She is eating very little. And what she does It goes up or down. 

I am seeing her when I can. I've done the last two long weekends with her. So I have spent time with them.  I have to say goodbye everytime I leave. Just incase.

I feel a bit confused sometimes. I know it's good to stay positive . But mum talks of going in the garden in the summer. Or about my daughter's birthday in September. Which I find hard.   We are now in week 3 of 'weeks not months' and I know shes not getting better.

I feel like I'm looking for signs for the end. But then I feel guilty. I think it's my way of just trying to prepare myself. 

How are u doing x