Hello XXXIV, 

So sorry to hear the sad news about your mum's diagnosis. I hope she finds out more soon about the source of the cancer and that she gets some clarity as what is going on and what treatment options are available to her. It must be so hard for you given your anxiety problems and I think it would be a good idea for you to talk to your GP about this. Your GP will I am sure point you in the right direction to help you deal with these anxiety issues which will then help you cope a little better with the current situation. Try not to anticipate the worst at the moment and to take a day at a time. I know this is easier said than done but hopefully you will get a clearer picture soon regarding her diagnosis and treatment options. This must be so hard for you XXXIV and I hope you can also find someone around you to support you and talk to you during this tough time.

Hopefully you will hear from others on this forum who have also looked after a loved one with cancer and I am sure they will have some comforting words for you and some coping tips based on their own personal experiences. 

We're thinking of you and your mum during this difficult time and I just wanted you to know this forum is always there for you if you want to talk or offload.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thanks for the reply, Lucie. I appreciate it.

I would go to my GP if he was any good, but unfortunately he's terrible and tends to not want to help. A lot of GP's where I live are like this. My Mum's had a cough for over 2 years (as well as other symptoms) and I used to say to her that it could be cancer. After going to her GP about it, she got an X-Ray and tested for COPD, but the tests were normal. However, they had no interest in following up with more tests, even though the cough was still present. I don't have much faith in GP's anymore (at least not the ones in my area).

She'll be getting the gallstone(s) removed tomorrow via some kind of endoscopy where they will also look for more cancer. After that, they say she can most likely come home (fingers crossed). I'm just worried about what they'll find and what the prognosis will be.

May as well update this even though I've only had one reply.

Mum passed away today from a pulmonary embolism. I don't know what happened exactly. She was doing better yesterday (she had been vomiting blood for a few days after the gallstone removal but it stopped happening yesterday), but today she was having trouble breathing and within 3 hours she was gone. I only just got there on time, as she died within a few minutes of me being there. I truly thought she'd be coming home this week, so I don't really know how to cope. I've been going between feeling numb and crying since it happened.

As for the cancer: She found out yesterday that it had spread to her stomach, bowel and in multiple bones (I still don't know where it originated and I don't know if they do either). They said she could get treatment, but then this happened, so.

I did get to be with her in her last moments at least, but she was unconscious and breathing with an oxygen mask. I'm still glad I was there though, as it's the last time I got to hold her hand and speak to her. I just hope she could hear me before she passed.

Anyway, just thought i'd let anyone that's interested know. Maybe someone here has experienced something similar.

My heart is absolutely broken for you. 

I lost my own mammy nearly 4 weeks ago. I know how you feel. The soreness, the pain. I feel for you I really do. 

I wish there was more I could say but as I know, no ones words will give you any kind of comfort at this time. Losing a parent is the hardest thing in the world. 

I hope you find the strength in you to help you over these next few days. 

Sending all my love 

Sonya