Hi, I'm here because I'm confused and don't know whoelse toturn to.

My partner and I met online 18 months ago and are in a long distance relationship. In April 2019 he was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer and that's when the problems started. Off and on since then he has chosen to end the realtionship. I have always been supportive and lost my mun through cancer and therefor have empathy for what he's experiencing. We have only been able to meet up a handful of times due to the distance and the breakups. Things had been goin really well since March this year and we were finally starting to make solid plans for the future, as the tumour was shrinking and he was doing very well. Then in April he became ill with the virus and was hospitalised. I supported him throughout this time, but due to the lockdown restrictions was unable to visit him and as his health improved, so did the plans for the future once again. Then last Saturday he had a number of tests prior to his release, which was scheduled for Tuesday, after he saw the doctor who would be telling him about his results.

I heard from him on Tuesday morning and then nothing. I decided to wait until I heard from as he had not been sleeping well from worrying about his results. Then on Wednesday afternoon I rang him, but he did notpick up, so I left a voicemail asking how he was. Later that day he sent mea text saying that the news had not been good and that he has much less time left than he could have imagined and that we couldno longer plan a future as there isn't time and that I must go on without him. Obviously I was upset and tried to ring him and again he did not reply, so I left a short voicemail saying I was so sorry to hear the news and to get in touch once he felt able to. He has not returned my call nor messaged me.

In the past when this has happened I sent a long email, have been supportive, understanding, explaining I am here for him and offered to remain friends if he wants that and eventually he comes back to me.

We are not young. I am 57 and he is 65, both mature enough to understand the challenges life throws at us, we have discussed what lies ahead and have always said we would be there for each other, no matter what happens, or how much time we had. But then he chooses to end the relatioship by text and will not talk to me.

I am finding hard to understand how someone who claims to love me can do this and has done this twice before, when he was faced with bad news regarding his cancer. 

I apologise for the length of the message, I fully appreciate that he will be going through so much and needs to focus on what lies ahead, but I'm just heartbroken that he has cut me out of his life :(