Hello

I lost my dad two weeks ago, three years after he was diagnosed with terminal mesothelioma.

I adored my dad and losing him was my worst nightmare, but I just wanted you to know that I am surviving. 

I expected to fall in to a pit of despair, fortunately your brain is your friend and seems to have a self preservation switch. I'm concerned it's going to suddenly hit me, but I intend to have therapy to  somewhat manage the grief.

What I would advise from my experience is that you say everything to him that you want to, really tell him how you feel. Start working out where he might die if at all possible so that he is comfortable.

Tell the people you are closest to what's going on so that they are there to support you. And importantly look after yourself. Eat and sleep properly, you feel so much worse if you don't, and you want to be as strong as you can be to support him in his final days.

Read as much as you can about grief online, and what to expect when someone dies so that things are less shocking and you can be more emotionally prepared to deal with things. Also, in as much as you can and without upsetting him, be aware of his finances, bills, insurances etc to give yourself less to deal with later.

It is scary and I know exactly how you feel, but you will be OK. Just make the most of the time you have with him now. If I think of anything else from my recent experience I'll come back. 

Hey,

My dad was diagnosed with cancer stage 4 terminal lung cancer with mets on the 28th October 2019. - it was a shock diagnosis. he went to the doctor struggling to breathe one day, they told him to go to a&e- 2 days later the news came.. the C word. 
 

We were given 4 months but lost him on the 27th November 2019 - just 30 days later, he never came home as he his pain and breathing was never stabilised. 
 

ive searched every forum everybit of advice, but the truth is. You'll process this how your mind and body allows it. What way is the right way and what was is wrong? . 
 

all you can do is take each day and do what is needed My biggest regret, is that the few things my dad wanted to do before his time came we didn't get the chance to.  even simple requests like wanting to go outside one last time. We promised to sort it the next day, but by then he had deteriorated further and we didn't get the chance- it happened every time my dad asked for something - it just got snatched away the following day. 
so the one bit of advice I'd say is there's anything he wants to do, don't waste the time,  just do it cause the next day things may just change again. 
 

I'm 26 and living 2 months with out my dad. It's now starting to hit me he's no longer here. And who knows how's long that's going to last.  - let's face it.. it sucks *** but I'm surviving I'm  heathly and blessed to be here . And both blessed to have a loving father in our lives! 

just know how ever you feel it's not wrong to feel it. It's normal and some one some where is feeling the exact same way. 
 

im sorry your having to go through this. And I know my words arnt much help and probably a load of rubbish but I send you your dad and family love. 
Look after each other 

Francine x

First of all I'm so sorry for you and your family, it's ***. I lost my dad last night and scouting the forums to find answers on why it all seems so surreal. But I would say take one day at a time, learn all about what products/services are available to help him as he deteriorates - my parents had the sofa lifted and a handrail fitted to the stairs by occupational health. Sadly my dad had a compressed spine meaning he lost mobility so had to spend the last few weeks inanursing home. He wasn't happy at first but became happier in the last week when he settled and got to know the staff. He died last night quietly with no pain on his own with no fuss as he would have wNted. So while I'm sad to have lost him, I take comfort he saw his family and friends, knew how loved he was and also that his condition didn't deteriorate further. Which is not how I expected to feel. So what I'm taking a long time to say is you just dint know what's going to happen and really you need to try and accept the diagnosis as philosophicaly as you can. We all all have our time. Take each day as it comes and try and find your peace with your dad. Much love x