Hello,

I did not have the same experience you had wth my hubby's illness, but your last sentancde struck a chord

i lost my husband's personality day after day too, he becamebad tempered , critical and verballt aggresive, but hard as it was i eventually accepted it was his illness and strong medication that made 

him like this

I also saw another side to him, a frightened man fighting a disease he knew would not win

I love hom so much and never tell anyone i am a "widow", I hate the word. I am married he is just not here

My best wishes to you

Hi have you thought of hospice they can give better pain controll etc and you can stay there i didnt get the chance as my partner had stroke after chemo and died less than two days later the name hospice sent shivers down my spine but having read many posts on here its nothing like i thought and maybe better for you and you children at least you will get a break and your kids might not see the horrors of this disease and your husband could be more comfortable please except my apology if it upsets you i dont mean it to be . This rotton disease moves around and hides my brothers a surgeon and he said cancer can be as much as a few cells to start with and a pet scan cannot see them then they start growing as cancer cells reproduce much faster than normal cells if you have doupts about his treatment if you ring the p.a ls at the hospit he is under they will investigat but for the time being maybe leave as ime sure like was your exhausted my liz had many diffrent things wrong as well as the cancer and i think i was just about on my knees and you have it worse than i best wishs .paul ps ime not a medicaly trained person just ive been through it and had the fortune to have lots of nurses and a dr in my family

I am so so sorry for your loss and what you write about what cancer did to your husband , you are describing mine now. I too know it is not his fault and do not blame him. 
please take care 

Michelle xx

Hello just want to say I am really sorry to hear about your hubby must be terrible.I was told last year in January 2019 all clear after mammogram and ultrasound.Then in April went to the GP with cough and in May I was diagnosed with breast cancer spread to the lungs.I was shocked and angry how on earth I was all clear in January?Then they left me waiting until August they couldnt decide what is spread where if it was primary breast cancer or lung cancer.And they have all the "technology".End of July I was so bad I couldnt breath or walk properly.I was offered immunotherapy after I was begging when I am going to start any tratment.They told my for immunotherapy need run more tests.I was furious after 2 months doing nothing more tests?Anyway I refused so now I am on weekly chemo who know how long is going to work for me.But I do feel for you and dont understand why they are playing and destroying people lives.Its hard I was planing a baby with my husband and they destroyed my life completely.

I am so sorry for your loss. We were offered 2 weeks in a hospice for symptom control but my husband is terrified he won't get out and has begged me not to send him and when I saw the relief in his face when I said he didn't have to go , it broke me, I got physical pain in my heart. I met this man when I was 16 and he is my first and only. I forgot to mention he had penile cancer 8 years ago which he beat so feel he should have been better checked. I cannot believe it wasn't present less than 4 months prior to the diagnosis. It was in his lung , brain and spine less than 4 months after he was given the all clear. Your advice is greatly appreciated and I hope you are doing well following your loss.

thanks 

michelle 

Oh my god, my heart goes out to you and I pray to god the chemo gets you in remission.Good luck with treatment and you are so right in what you say.
all the best 

michelle 

I understand its been a while now for me .thank you it was just a suggestion but if your in doupt cantact pals they may even make arrangements to speak to medical team i still think we are in the dark ages with cancer they give the all clear but they realy should say in remission . Just try and get some rest yourself no one thinks about the stress carrers are under like i said i got non from lizs family and still feel angry with them and her cancer team you need support yourself its there if it isnt kick up a stink .p

Just wanted to say how sorry I am that your family are going through this

Andrea xx

Thank you Andrea xxx