Hi clairelois1990,

I'm so sorry to read about your Nan. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for all of you.

I would encourage you to spend as much time as you can with her and to focus on enjoying the little things like the conversations.

Try to make sure you make the most in terms of talking about anything you want to talk about and focusing on enjoying the quality time you mention.

I'm sure you're doing all you can to be there for her. It will no doubt be tough and will likely get harder before it gets easier, but it sounds like you have support around you and people you can speak to.

I know there will be many others here who have been through, or are perhaps going through, something similar - so I would encourage you to browse or search the forum if you haven't already as it may be helpful.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

I lost my nana in May last year. I always thought shed live forever. We were especially close, though I didn't live close to her latterly I'd be on the phone every other day for hours on end some times. 

Whe she was diagnosed we were told she would have at most 3 months and the doctors were right, she opted for no treatments the only thing she could have was chemo to ease the pain and she didn't want that really as she was scared she would be so ill with it. 

I last visited her a month before she passed on my birthday, that was the last time I saw her alive, she cried and told me it would be the last time shed see me, and it was, I can still see her sat on her chair telling me that. 

To start with there were days I thought my heart would literally break in two, even typing this get a knot in my throat and I know I'm going to cry afterwards. I cant look at pictures of her without getting upset, yet want to look at pictures all the time.  I even went ul into my attic and found some old videos of her from when my daughter was little, just so i could hear her voice. That's what i miss the most.  I've been tempted to call my nanas telephone just on the off chance she answers, mad isn't it! 

What I wanted to say in short was, at the time you think you wont cope, but somehow you do. Take care of yourself x

one of the last things my sister said to me is "you will cope".  and so will you.  life goes on even if it has to be without the ones we love.  it's a cliche but take everyday as it comes and find the time to say the things now.