Hi AlanM

Very sorry to hear your suffering from this disgusting cancer .

I lost my beloved dad in September to this horrible cancer it too spread to his liver . He died in 9 weeks of being diagnosed . He was 69 a healthy man , his NHS treatment was poor , they wrote him off i think because of his age and social background . I am angry so angry with how he was left and not treated quickly enough . 

The only positive was the hospice where he spent his last 9 days of life . This cancer i will never forgive , the images of my dad are in my head constantly .

I have all the respect in the world for his hospice care  but his NHS care was crap !

So sorry to hear about your dad, I know what you are saying I still have not received so much as a aspirin, I see an oncologist Friday a 24 January 2020 at 9.45 am along with a hospice nurse who is trying to get me some treatment, the NHS stinks, I have been placed on palative care but received nothing.

If it was not for the hospice I think I would have ended this pain by now, 

The worse of it is despite the fact I went to my doctor's a good 18 months ago with this concern of blood in my mouth trouble swallowing at times and acid reflux with shortage of breath all they did was give me ranitadine and inhalers.

I have not got long left I feel like giving in the lack of support from the NHS is killing me, I am losing the will to fight for life, if they don't give me some treatment this Friday along with some support ? I last heard from my so called caring Macmillan Cancer nurse 19th December 19 when she told me I may get 12 months, I live alone with no family, god it's hard.

Sorry for the above rant, I was layed in bed wondering what the day is going to bring but also happy to have the chance to face it, I thinks!!.

My future life all depends on this oncologist I have waited weeks to see. If he is not willing to give me a chance to fight this sick evil oesophagus cancer with secondary liver on Friday 24th January  I may as well end it to save the suffering that lays ahead.

I am not one to give in but can not fight this alone I need to be given the tools to fight back and only the NHS can supply them, if I had the money I would go private - it seems to me it is all about money, my treatment if I had money would be given without question, I would be given a chance of life Not ignored for weeks. I have no respect for them that are denying me the right to fight back and Macmillan who have ignored me since telling me I was terminal and in palative care at 7pm 19th December 2019. If I am not offered treatment on Friday they will find out how I feel about them, I have nothing to lose.

Sorry ranting again.

Hi AlanM

No problem at all , you rant all you like , i have been through exactly what you are going through with my dad .

This is happening every day in this country , the NHS are selecting who to treat quickly and who not too . This is selective treatment regarding cancer . 

It is so bad , they are letting some just die in agony in my view . It is something when a Hospice that is only part funded by central government gives sufferers the compassion and care that is sadly lacking in our NHS . My advice to you is get angry if you can stay angry with the NHS , demand and also if you need pain relief  or care proper regarding this terrible cancer , please let your hospice know right away . These places are great in my opinion . We are lucky we have such places . Good luck to you in your fight .

Hi billygoatt, for the first time today I laughed, I laughed at your post then got tears - thank you.

Alan

Thank you mikkey71, 

You are correct about the NHS all they are interested in is percentages so they can say we are now curing such a percent of cancers they do not tell you they are only putting effort in to and treating what is very early stage less terminal types of cancer, the cancers that are terminal  they ignore and we are left to cope best we can.

I would give all just to be given the chance of extra life, just to be offered any kind of treatment would give me a boost, a much needed boost, I have no idea how I will cope if after this long wait to see an oncologist,

I'm really sorry to read what's been going on Alan.

I can't begin to understand how difficult this must be but I'm really glad you've got the hospice supporting you on this journey. You also have our lovely members here on the forum - some of which I can see on this discussion really care about you Alan - but if you find things are starting to get to you, you're feeling low or just want to speak to someone about what you're going through, especially at those times of day when no-one is around, then do give the Samaritans a call. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 116 123 and will always be there to listen.

I know your appointment is this Friday so before I head off I just want to wish you all the best and let you know we'll be thinking of you on the day. Do come back and let us know what they say and remember that we'll always be here for you, every step of the way.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Alan, just so you know I'm stage 4 on palliative care since February 2016, prostate gone to lymph nodes, spine, ribs, pelvis and a lung, I'm on permanent hormone therapy and cemotherapy when neaded., I had to retire to look after my disabled wife she needs 24 /7 care she has Alzheimers. Best wishes for Friday. I haven't got my fingers ready yet.........

Billy

P.s I've got a bone scan on Fri to see if my uninvited guest has sneaked in somewhere else. 

Hi Steph, 

Thank you for your guidance, I never thought about the Samaritans, there has been times when I could do with hearing a voice and not necessarily to talk about Cancer just some one to listen to how I'm feeling.

I started today pretty down fearful of what today is going to bring  ( I must stop feeling sorry for myself ) I took my faithful dogs for a long country walk returning home to a phone call from the hospice asking me if I would like to take a six week course in rieki ? I have never heard of it, apparently it is something that will help me cope with pain and my thinking - so that's got to be worth trying I start the six week course 5th February, nice to know someone has faith I will still be in hear in six weeks, LOL.

I next had visitor from the RSPCA ( I am a home visitor for them ) she spent a good hour with me then I have seen the emails saying messages on cancer chat I log in and find genuinely caring people's have taken an interest in me, the day turned out pretty good.

Thanks to all who have taken the time to post, all of you have been a big, big help.