Mum dying

I have been reading other posts from people who have been in this situation and found it very helpful. My mum had part of her bowel removed in January and after 3 rounds of chemo was all clear in the summer. After feeling unwell in September we went back to the hospital to be told it is now stage 4- inoperable and incurable. Mum is now at home under the palliative team with a morphine driver in her leg. We are all so shocked and stunned and have no idea how to get through this. All ideas welcome xx

  • Oh Stevie,

    I really understand what you mean about feeling cheated. We celebrated Mum's birthday in August and made all sorts of plans and booked tickets to shows all over the place. I took my children to the theatre on Thursday without Grandma as she couldn't manage it and I almost couldn't bear it. I have tried to follow the advice of telling her everything and trying to get her to talk about what is important to her now and that has helped. The people at Macmillan told me to get up each day and think 'what can I do to make mum more comfortable today?' So I have been taking round old photos to look at together, playing her favourite music and listening to the radio together. What I can't do at the moment is think past tomorrow and contemplate her not being here for future events. That knocks the wind out of me. I really hope you manage to enjoy some time with your mum and make some more lovely memories. Sending love xx

  • Thank you for your advice. I am so sorry about your wife. You are right that remembering the good times is so important. I have had conversations with my Mum and thanked her for the person she has made me and all her love. There is such a simple equation between love and grief and part of the suffering that comes is having had such a wonderful loving mum-you really know what you are losing. I hope you and your children are managing to come to terms with the loss of your wife. Thank you x