Cancer Research UK main site

Lost my beautiful wife on Tuesday

KST
Offline

I lost my beautiful wife of 42 years on Tuesday to metastatic cancer. Cancer return in 3 different places, liver, bones and intestine. She was given these treatments;  radio to bones, hormones treatment and oral chemo tablets. Liquid and tablet morphine for pains. Metastatic cancer was confirm after scan results in March. Since then her gradually got worse, a different pain each time d in July she compliant a lot of pains in her tummy and was  given cocodimol, she started to feel sick from August, eventually cant eat solid foods.  At end of September she was admitted to hospital with tummy pains and tiredness, a further scan result found a blockage to get larger intestine caused by cancer cells growing. A week before my wife died, she could only eat ice poles, ice creams, custards and drink cold cans of cola. On the week she died she could eat anything.  I can tell she is in pain and I feel so bad for can't doing anything to help her.  Eventually my wife lost the battle on Tuesday.

I have read a few posts here and I understand your heart is breaking as I feel this way too. I found some comfort in here. I know I cried every night feeling sorry for selfish myself but I know I should be relieved my wife is in pain no more.  Today I brave to register her death and face the funeral arrangements.

  • Offline

    So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... my heart goes out to you, and my thoughts are with you ... cancer sucks .. and has no compation ... she will live safely tucked up in your heart now ... 

    Sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx

  • Offline

    I feel so sad for you. It’s awful to have to go through all this. Take each step at a time and make sure you look after yourself x

  • Offline

    During the 2 weeks my wife was in hospital, I stayed bed side in hospital everyday till late, coming home to an empty house is heart breaking for me. Watching my wife dying is the hardest thing to do, I cried everynight feeling sorry for selfish self and I know I shouldn't, it happened so quick; I left hospital at 9:30pm and at 10:30pm I got the call from hospital as if my wife didn't want me to see her last breath.  I come here to hear others experience  going through, I hope to find comfort and ways to cope.  I know it'll take long time, coping on my own will be difficult, thankfully I have families around me for this very difficult times.

    Love to you all

    Kim

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Thank you for words of comfort.  

    I have never experienced the pain I am going through now after my wife passed away, not a physical pain I can take pain killers, I feel it in my heart, mind and my entire being but nothing can make it better.  My wife and i live in our house, how do I cope now.  I know many people here has gone through this and maybe you have a way to dull this heartache. 

    Next week will be my wife's funeral, I don't know how to handle the interment at cemetery, I know I'll break down, I feel very sad at moment and looking to hire others cope in here, thank you for any advice you can offer

    Regards

    Kim

  • Offline in reply to KST

    Hi Kim,

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 2012 and have just lost my mum on 3rd October. At 35 I never thought I’d be living without both my parents, I still feel too young! The grief and pain I feel, I know will never leave me but I hope in time, it becomes more bareable and I hope this for you also.

    What you have to understand is that you are carrying your wife in your heart and you have to go on living for her, for the life she can no longer lead. You should never feel selfish for that because that would mean two lives would have been lost that day. You are standing and you are breathing and no doubt every breath you take will be for the both of you. Take it one day at a time, slowing and carefully. Don’t forget to take care of yourself also, in life you would have been precious to your wife and that shouldn’t change, she’d still want you to look after yourself.

    Take care. Beth x x

  • Offline in reply to BethB

    Thanks Beth, so sorry you have gone through such sad times and I know how you must feel, you are very brave in coping and I wish I had same strength. Next week will be very tough for me at the celebration service, I don't think I can cope very well. I feel nothing but inner pain, heartache and numb just now. I know I have to be strong but I can't find my strength to face this.

     

    Kim x

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.