Hi Saracr, Firstly I’m so sorry about the news you’ve received about your dad! I’m a similar age to you (23) and I understand what your going through. My mum passed away from lung cancer a few years ago and being told someone has months left to live is devastating. Even now i think about how she will miss out on my wedding and my children being born but it is something that you come to terms with and when the time comes for you to get married you can remember your dad in your own way. Depending on how he’s feeling could he maybe write you a letter only to open on your wedding day?

My advice to you is over the next couple months to stay strong and spend as much time with your dad as possible. Watch some films, talk about your favourite memories and savour every moment. When your dad passes you will be able to grieve knowing you spent as much time with him as you could. See this time as a blessing, bonus time with him!

i think spending time with his family will be all your dad wants.

love and best wishes to you and your family xxx

Thankyou so much for advice, it really helped and I’m so sorry to hear about your mum:(. If you ever need to talk I’m here x

Hello there

I was very sad to read your dad. My dad was diagnosed in march with lung cancer and died in may, it came from nowhere as he wasnt poorly at all. When we had the diagnosis I decided to go see him everyday, spent weekend driving where he grew up and chatting about it. Taking selfies, laughing and talking about anything we could. I asked him advice for the future too. I always smiled and bit my lip, if it wobbled, I didn't want him to worry about us all. I have no regrets and hope I did my best for him. I have lost my best friend, it's up and down, I feel angry and sad, but at least I had those weeks. I wish you all the best, its a heartbreaking time. I hope some ideas here help you. All the best, Nic x

Hello Saracr, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. You are both so young. I'm 36 and lost my dad 2 years ago one month before his 79th birthday also from lung cancer (non-small cell).  Unfortunately for us, my dad's lung cancer was discovered at Stage 4 and he was not a good candidate for treatment either. I wish I can tell you about a cure but unfortunately there isn't one as of yet. Don't feel heartbroken that your dad will not receive treatment because when it comes to cancer, the treatment can be worse than the disease. For my dad, we chose quality over quantity. We wanted dad to enjoy whatever time was left versus suffering even more through treatment. There is no easy way to say this but you have to try and make the best of these days, and not worry so much about the future (such as your wedding, kids, etc). You have to make your dad comfortable everyday and I suggest you take plenty of pictures and videos. Look at family photos together and share memories. Let him know how much you love him, and how he is the best dad. As hard as it is, try not to cry around him. When the time comes, you want your dad to go in peace so reassure him that everything and everyone will be okay including you all on earth and him in the spirit world. Most importantly, pray. Pray for him, yourself and your family.  I wish you all the best.

Hello, 

My Dad was my world and passed away in March age 58 after a very short brave battle with this vile disease. 

He left me 32, my sister 30 and my mum. 

I went in to labour the day after we buried him with his first grandchild, it was a boy and my dad was the only person that knew that and it breaks my heart every day that he never got to meet him, he was so excited. My sister is due in september and we pulled our wedding forward to September for him as well. So I know exactly how you and your brother feel. Life is SO cruel. 

I do know though that I spent every last second I could with him over those last 5 weeks. Hugging and talking and saying I love you. Simple things like walking around the garden when he could, watching a film together. 

I wrote down all these little things, all the small things we talked about so I can look back and remember I made the most of those last days. Unfortunately my dads was oesophagus so eating and speaking for long periods wasn’t a luxury we had. 

Make the most of every second, you don’t need to do anything, just be there x

Hi Sunshine1987, I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. Please know that your dad never left you or your family, and your dad was very much so with you when you gave birth to his first grandchild. Your dad is still with you all in a spiritual form, and he will be at every one of your life's milestones. God bless you and your family. 

Hi thank you everyone who has responded with advice and so sorry to hear everybody else’s  bad news but sadly my dad passed away on the 9th of August just a week after we  got told it was months so devastated and heartbroken but at least he isn’t in pain now just want to say thank you for your lovely messages and hope everything goes well for everybody x

I'm sorry to hear that, it is an awful time. It is just as raw for me 4 months on as it was in May. My comfort is that my dad lives on in my 4 children. Wishinh you all the best. Nic x