Hi
My partner has been battling stage 4 metastatic breast cancer for the last 2 years and following the end of second course of chemo in January had good scan results but in last 4 weeks has gone from feeling a little ‘under the weather’ to rapid deterioration.
She’s now in a hospice having spent a week in hospital which ruled out infection at least, but it’s just the progression of the disease and on Sunday it was decided to stop any further treatment.
Im now sat at her bedside and she’s on increasing pain relief and in and out of sleep. It’s weird though. Despite all the reading about these final few days, I’m sat here in a mild state of denial thinking that it’s the morphine making her drowsy. It’s the morphine slurring her speech. It’s the morphine making her snore...giving her body a chance to fight a little longer (which is at the same time heartbreaking to see her in so much pain and even saying how much she’s over it all now, and wanting it all to end).
In these final few days, I assumed the patient would be pretty much unconscious. A peaceful passing to death. However there is so much pain, and nausea, and restlessness, and extreme fatigue (too tired now to be sick even though she often tries). And communication! It’s not a full blown conversation but she’s still giving out orders, asking for pain relief or ice cubes or for the window to be closed(!).
Is this normal? Is the occasional snore actually the start of the death rattle? Or are we just at the beginning of the end not the end of the end?
Im sorry, there’s not much or really any questions in this post. I think I’m just looking for some reassurance that this pain and suffering will relent. I know there’s no crystal ball but some time frame would help. It’s so sad to see someone who had so much life and love and positivity and was ‘never ill’ now lie there so weak and so fragile.
