Hello love,

your story is so similar to mine, my Dad also had oesophageal cancer. He suffered with it for 7 months and lost his battle on the 2nd Feb 2019. My Dad tried chemo but he only managed 4 cycles before he developed internal bleeding for which he was prescribed something to thicken his blood but that caused him to get several blood clots and one of them moved to his brain which caused a stroke... it really went from bad to worse at every step, it’s a horrible disease. Towards the end my Dad was very thin, struggling to walk, using oxygen to help him breath and taking countless tablets to take away the pain and he couldn’t speak properly because the stroke has messed up his speech, it was awful to watch him suffer but I held his hand and talked to him and  made him laugh up until the day we lost him. Throughout it all he was still my lovely Dad underneath all the horrible cancer, he was still in there fighting! My Dad really wanted to go home and we managed to get him out of hospital for a week before he passed away.  I am 21 weeks pregnant so I feel I can relate to you. I don’t know how your story is going to end, I hope that your Dad gets some good luck and some relief, one thing that you an control is the pain, there’s no need for him to be in so much pain, it took a while for my Dad to get the right painkillers it was actually due to a Macmillan nurse suggesting a twice daily slow release painkiller along with paracetamol and another liquid hat he could take throughout the day, that did the trick for him and it was one small victory that meant he could rest without being in agony. 

Anyway sorry for the massive message, I wish you and your Dad all the luck in the world, i hope you get some pain free quality time together and that your Dad gets to meet your baby x

Hello love,

your story is so similar to mine, my Dad also had oesophageal cancer. He suffered with it for 7 months and lost his battle on the 2nd Feb 2019. My Dad tried chemo but he only managed 4 cycles before he developed internal bleeding for which he was prescribed something to thicken his blood but that caused him to get several blood clots and one of them moved to his brain which caused a stroke... it really went from bad to worse at every step, it’s a horrible disease. Towards the end my Dad was very thin, struggling to walk, using oxygen to help him breath and taking countless tablets to take away the pain and he couldn’t speak properly because the stroke has messed up his speech, it was awful to watch him suffer but I held his hand and talked to him and  made him laugh up until the day we lost him. Throughout it all he was still my lovely Dad underneath all the horrible cancer, he was still in there fighting! My Dad really wanted to go home and we managed to get him out of hospital for a week before he passed away.  I am 21 weeks pregnant so I feel I can relate to you. I don’t know how your story is going to end, I hope that your Dad gets some good luck and some relief, one thing that you an control is the pain, there’s no need for him to be in so much pain, it took a while for my Dad to get the right painkillers it was actually due to a Macmillan nurse suggesting a twice daily slow release painkiller along with paracetamol and another liquid hat he could take throughout the day, that did the trick for him and it was one small victory that meant he could rest without being in agony. 

Anyway sorry for the massive message, I wish you and your Dad all the luck in the world, i hope you get some pain free quality time together and that your Dad gets to meet your baby x

Hello Y'all,

I hope you are doing well, considering the circumstances.
[@Amz0403]‍ I imagine it is very difficult to deal with all the news, and considering that you are going through a pregnancy that is already a very emotional process. However, I hope you can find some comfort with the fact of you becoming a mother, and with your family and friends. You also have us, here in the forum, to talk and go through this.

[@mrsvern]‍ I'm so sorry for your lost, that is quite recent, you must be still in shock, and it looks like it was very quick deterioration. And you are also so young! It's striking how we that are on our 20s have to go through stuff like this! The possibility of having some pain free time with our loved ones is really important.

When it comes to me, today is valentine's day and I cannot be with my boyfriend. As always I will visit him during the weekend (I work in a different city Monday-Friday), but I think he is very tired to celebrate whatever... life is completely different now. I have no idea how long is he gonna make it, and I'm sad that we cannot do "couple things" like we used to (travelling, going out, whatever)... He is just so different and sick.

Oh well, take care everybody** 

Hiya, 

I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your Dad and what him, you and your family went through. It's so horrible and life's so cruel.

The last couple of my days, my Dad has deteriorated a lot, struggling to talk and breathe and still bringing up a lot of black blood. They've finally been able to manage his pain relief and he can request it every hour, it's all about making his last days comfortable for him now. 

Unfortunately he won't make it to see his Grandson but he has put on the biggest fight and he's been so brave. His grandson will know exactly what an amazing Man his grandad is. 

Good luck with your pregnancy and I again am very sorry to hear about the loss of your father.

Sending love xxx

Hiya, 

Yes it is extremely difficult, being pregnant with hormones doesn't help the fact of trying to be strong, I am ecstatic to become a mum to my 2nd child but I am also heartbroken that my son wont get to meet his grandad who he would of idolized just like i do and my daughter. 

I hope that you get to make memories with your boyfriend however more recently I have realised it's not about the big things or holidays etc, it's about the little things.