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Nan has lung cancer

Milks
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Hi, so I’m new to this form. I’m 15 years old and just found out my Nan has lung cancer. We don’t know how far it’s progressed yet but she’s had cancer twice before so this can’t be a good sign. Everybody I’ve asked has said that lung cancer is a terrible way to die and it just makes so, so upset.  She’s a heavy smoker and drinker so I always knew that she had an increased risk but it still really hurts. Nobody in my family seem to really care except for me so I feel like I can’t twlk about it to any of them. I’m just so afraid of her dying and her only have months left to live, it makes me feel guilty for all the family parties I’ve been annoyed at or how I felt forced to go visit her when she was healthy, I suppose that you never truly appreciate things until they’re gone. I just can’t stop crying about all the future plans we made that I know will never happen. Any advice would be appreciated :) also, I do t know if I’ve posted this in the wrong subject so if somebody could tell me if I have I’d be grateful :) 

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    Hello Milks and welcome.  Emotions are complicated things sometimes.  Your family may resent the fact that your gran has perhaps brought this upon herself and at the same time are still upset that she is in this situation.  That was how I felt when my son's dad died from lung cancer; they may be having difficulty coming to terms with these mixed feelings.  Have a chat with your mum and dad and ask what they are feeling; things may begin to make more sense.    By the way, don't worry about the subject heading; it seems appropriate enough! Annie

    PS I am sorry you are having to through this sad time.    IF you look up a website called riprap you will find others of your age who have a loved one who is terminally ill.

  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    Hi Annie, thanks for the support and the helpful links. I’m really sorry I haven’t responded sooner, truth be told I’ve been a bit tooafraid to look at the response :) we found out that she does definitely has cancer of the lungs and today she’s going for her results to know if it’s secondary or not. I suppose it’s not the best Christmas present. I will talk to me parents when they come back home after the results. Many thanks :)

  • Offline in reply to Milks

    No problem Milks.  I know the feeling when something is a bit scary so you don't want to know!  Glad you are going to have a chat with your parents.  Annie xx

  • Offline in reply to Annieliz

    As soon as I’d finished writing that we just found she also has it in the liver,  they’ve told her that she’s a top priority now and that a brain scan is the next course of action, I do think that it has spread  as she keeps having funny turns and blackouts so I just hope that she’ll live as long as possible 

  • Offline in reply to Milks

    Hi again.  Just something I should have said earlier.  When my son's dad died from lung cancer he was never in bad pain.  I have to say his  medical carers were excellent and managed to keep the pain at bay.  He died peacefully in his sleep when his time came.  Of course different people have different experiences - there is a lot of helpful information on this website if you want to look it up (I realise you might not want to read this).  Your poor Gran, she really is having a bad time and I hope that she too will not suffer pain unnecessarily.  I say to everyone that you should remember that your gran is the same person who has known and loved you all  your life and she is more than a cancer patient.  She still has interests and things she might like to chat about so don't just talk about her illness.  I hope that I am making some sort of sense to you and please don't hesitate to come back whenever you want and I - and others here - will do our best to answer your questions.  Annie

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