Hello Milks and welcome.  Emotions are complicated things sometimes.  Your family may resent the fact that your gran has perhaps brought this upon herself and at the same time are still upset that she is in this situation.  That was how I felt when my son's dad died from lung cancer; they may be having difficulty coming to terms with these mixed feelings.  Have a chat with your mum and dad and ask what they are feeling; things may begin to make more sense.    By the way, don't worry about the subject heading; it seems appropriate enough! Annie

PS I am sorry you are having to through this sad time.    IF you look up a website called riprap you will find others of your age who have a loved one who is terminally ill.

Hi Annie, thanks for the support and the helpful links. I’m really sorry I haven’t responded sooner, truth be told I’ve been a bit tooafraid to look at the response :) we found out that she does definitely has cancer of the lungs and today she’s going for her results to know if it’s secondary or not. I suppose it’s not the best Christmas present. I will talk to me parents when they come back home after the results. Many thanks :)

As soon as I’d finished writing that we just found she also has it in the liver,  they’ve told her that she’s a top priority now and that a brain scan is the next course of action, I do think that it has spread  as she keeps having funny turns and blackouts so I just hope that she’ll live as long as possible 

Hi again.  Just something I should have said earlier.  When my son's dad died from lung cancer he was never in bad pain.  I have to say his  medical carers were excellent and managed to keep the pain at bay.  He died peacefully in his sleep when his time came.  Of course different people have different experiences - there is a lot of helpful information on this website if you want to look it up (I realise you might not want to read this).  Your poor Gran, she really is having a bad time and I hope that she too will not suffer pain unnecessarily.  I say to everyone that you should remember that your gran is the same person who has known and loved you all  your life and she is more than a cancer patient.  She still has interests and things she might like to chat about so don't just talk about her illness.  I hope that I am making some sort of sense to you and please don't hesitate to come back whenever you want and I - and others here - will do our best to answer your questions.  Annie