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Dementia and cancer

Daisydoolittle
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my mam was diagnoised with gall bladder cancer with liver mets 9 weeks ago we were told to bring her home 9 weeks ago to die ,, she also has dementia which has gone off the scale ,, its so hard ,, i keep asking how long does she have and nobody can tell us,, i really wamt to know whats the longest she has ,, as watching her suffer with the dementia and the weightnloss is killing me ,,   All her dignity is lost its so cruel .any advice would help 

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    Hello there and welcome.  Whilst I have no experience of the sad situation you outline, I have seen the attached information from MacMillan Cancer Support about dementia and cancer.  Also you can ring MacMillan  (Freefone 0808 808 0000 Mon-Fri 9am-8pm) or alternatively speak to the nurses here at CRUK (Freefone 0808 800 4040 Mon-Fri 9am-5pm).  Hope this helps.  Annie

    https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/audience/cancer-and-other-conditions/cancer-and-dementia/caring-for-someone-with-cancer-and-dementia.html

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    Hi there Daisydoolittle,

    Your mum's situation just sounds so desperate and hurtful for you as a family.  I guess at this stage there is some benefit to her being too far gone with the dementia to know what is happening to her body but obviously the dementia brings extra problems for you.

    Sorry no-one can give you an answer to 'how long', cancer just never works like that cause we are all so different.

    I hope for all your sakes (and hers) that she passes sooner rather than later and is finally free from both conditions.

    One piece of advice though is to remember that people with even severe dementia can sometimes have a brief spell of utter lucidity before they die (no-one knows why this happens yet but I've experienced it with 2 elderly in-laws now and it was just bizarre).  It's impossible to know if/when it will happen so you can't guarantee being there, but I will be crossing my fingers that it does happen for you and that you get that moment.

    Best wishes and lots of hugs, LJx

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