So hard to see these changes in those we love and respect and having the frustration that it is the illness that is causing such heartbreaking times.  Whilst I feel 'lucky' that my Mum is well cared for,her quality of life is, and has been for some time, non existent and her bi polar condition as well as the physical decline creates different issues to be managed as best her palliative team can.  As an only child I am, of course, her only outlet when she chooses to speak/ignore me in equal measure. Guilty that I can do no more than play 'watcher' and hope for her release from the life she has no interest in (initially placed in residential care for her own safety but now her physical health brings it's own distress).

The forum is definitely somewhere that helps to share our thoughts and has continued to  be a support for me as I  joined when my hubby was terminally diagnosed/passed away.  Just try and hold on to the fact that you are doing all you can in difficult circumstances and your thoughts are a normal part of such distressing times.   Look after yourself too . Jules x

Carebear by no stretch of the imagination are you cruel, evil or nasty thinking this way.  You have the compassion to see what this is doing to your mother-in-law and to want her to have peace.  That's empathy!

I have no doubt that anyone in your mother-in-law's position would appreciate that you can see how awful their existence is and want better for them.  Sometimes better IS being allowed to slip away.

One of the myths about the Hippocratic Oath is that doctors have to preserve life at all costs.  Actually 'do no harm' sometimes means letting people pass away.  So much harm can be done by trying to keep people alive when they are ready to go and are suffering.

My thoughts are with you and your family as you care for your mother-in-law, she must be so lucky to have you in her life.  I hope she gets to pass soon and peacefully so she can know rest, it sounds like she has earned it.

Best wishes,

LJx