My sister has terminal liver and bowel cancer

I am struggling so much to deal with the fact that my sister is dying of cancer. She was diagnosed with liver cancer a few weeks ago and after tests discovered that it had originated in her bowel. On her 33rd birthday they told her there was nothing they could do about the bowel cancer and then last week they told her that the liver cancer had also gone too far. They have offered chemo to extend her life by about 3 or 4 months if it works. I am a year older than her and she has tried for years to have children and she is hoping to have enough time to get married, she and her partner put it off as they didn't have enough money and now we are all trying to figure it out so that we can get it done quickly and make it the best day of her life. I feel guilty that it is her and not me I don't know if that is normal but I can't help it. 

Parents
  • Hiya,

     

    I just had to reach out to you. Firstly I just want to say I'm so sorry, it's sh@t and nothing will change that. I remember in vivid detail every step of this journey. I lost my 38yr old sister to bowel cancer that had spread to her liver. She died on May 31st 2019. It still feels like it was yesterday. It should have been her 40th birthday last week and the pain is as earth shattering as the day she left us but you do find a way to get by. The guilt subsides eventually, not fully but you will begin to accept that it's not your fault that it wasn't you. Life is never the same again and quite honestly there are things that I still can't begin to fully deal with it process. I cry all the time. I obsess that I am next and I will die of bowel cancer next. I get so angry that I'm left to deal with everyone else's grief and hold things together when I just want to forget everything. So please don't beat yourself up. Wherever you are.... it's ok to feel how you feel. 
    Sending love because if you're anything like me you will be trying to just get on and keep going when sometimes you need to totally fall apart and let yourself feel everything. 

    Harriet

    xx

Reply
  • Hiya,

     

    I just had to reach out to you. Firstly I just want to say I'm so sorry, it's sh@t and nothing will change that. I remember in vivid detail every step of this journey. I lost my 38yr old sister to bowel cancer that had spread to her liver. She died on May 31st 2019. It still feels like it was yesterday. It should have been her 40th birthday last week and the pain is as earth shattering as the day she left us but you do find a way to get by. The guilt subsides eventually, not fully but you will begin to accept that it's not your fault that it wasn't you. Life is never the same again and quite honestly there are things that I still can't begin to fully deal with it process. I cry all the time. I obsess that I am next and I will die of bowel cancer next. I get so angry that I'm left to deal with everyone else's grief and hold things together when I just want to forget everything. So please don't beat yourself up. Wherever you are.... it's ok to feel how you feel. 
    Sending love because if you're anything like me you will be trying to just get on and keep going when sometimes you need to totally fall apart and let yourself feel everything. 

    Harriet

    xx

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