Hi Sarah,

I dont think your wrong at all. When I was diagnosed with prostateI managed to stay pozitive and told everyone I would beat it. I have been very lucky and have had a good result.

There is really no right or wrong way; we all handle it differntly. But I do feel its slightly easier for the patient as at least you are involved in your treatment so feel you have some control.

I wish you and your mother all the best and please keep in contact, Brian

Hi Sarah,

Nope, you are absolutely right in your approach. My Mum had cancer for years, as I have, and she always said she hated people visiting her who made her feel ill by harping on about "what a shame it is" or "you've been so unlucky".

Being positive may or may not help people live longer, but being down and surrounded by negative people can and does make life seem a drag. 

Keep on smiling for your Mum and give her every encouragement to enjoy her life as much as she can. 

Best wishes

Dave

Not at all... you are not wrong in anyway.

My mum passed away in the early hours of this morning after an incredible 8 month fight. She was so positive throughout, and even up until her last few days made jokes and had so much compassion towards her family and friends. It really was incredible to see and kept us all going. Sure she had her moments but on the whole she was so positive. We just followed her lead. 

Keep doing what you're doing and cherish this time, a positive mindset goes a long way.

Sending you love and hope xxx

Hi Sarah 

I am sorry to hear about your mum. I am 49 and have secondary breast cancer ( in the bones). After the initial upset/ shock has worn off- I am positive.  I don't want to livthe rest of my life feeling down and miserable. I celebrate the fact that I feel well now  my pain is well controlled. I have family and friends who love me. Absolutely no one knows when it is their time.. Yes, I know I probably won't make a very old age.  But I live for now. I have a great holiday to look forward to  . I still buy clothes and live compliments. My friends treat me as I'm "normal " which is the best thing ever. People are killed in accidents everyday. I think laugh and enjoy (.& have a good cry sometimes) bit for me, I choose happiness and positivity and cocktails every other centre and a while.

Do nice things with and for your mumI'm sure you do. Get counselling and support if you need it. But please embrace happiness when you can.

Best wishes 

God, sorry I never returned to this thread after everything that's happened.

I am sad to say, 1 month after I posted this thread, my mother passed away.  The final cause of death was bladder cancer.

it still kills me everyday, mainly because she never got to do everything she "postponed" in her life and she never got to meet my baby daughter who was born the next year.

I was in awe of my mother who kept strong right up to the end - I am still struggling a lot but I have an amazing husband and baby to focus on and try to be an amazing mum and wife just like my mum.

thanks everyone for the kind positive words. ️