One of my mums has just been given 2 weeks to live

I was brought up by two women, my mother and her partner. They have been together 31 years (I'm 22). The lady I mention is not my birth mum.She has pains for a long time in her eye, doctors missed loads etc etc. July they found a tumor they had missed months earlier, and she has stage 4 lung cancer which has spread all over. She is only 57. She has a daughter who is in her late 30s, who I consider to be my sister. 

 

She has been getting a lot worse in recent weeks; she has become very confused, bruises easily and doesn't eat. It was not a shock to find out today that she has a 2-3 week prognosis, and yet I'm finding it really hard to cope with the news. I am 15 weeks pregnant and also in my last five months of university with no chance of retaking. 

 

My mum is coping well with caring for my 'step-mum', but I know she will be understandably devastated when it happens. Throughout their relationship, my mum has always been the emotionally stronger of the two and I am really concerned about the lack of support she has available to her. I am her only family in London, my sister has also moved out to Kent and is rarely around to help at all. My stepmums sisters are really kjnd and helpful, one of them in particular, however I fear once my stepmum passes she will not have as much support as before. She is a very private person and I think it would be hard to get her to engage with services, and while I see her several times a week I know I cannot provide her with enough support considering my circumstances.

 

I wondered if anyone else had experienced anything similar, or had any ideas regarding getting my mum the support she needs?

 

xxx

 

 

Se  

  • Hello Se, 

    I'm really sorry to hear that your step-mum has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and that you have been told she doesn't have much time left. It's great to hear that your mum is coping well but can understand why you may be worried about her when the time comes. I have had a look on our website and have found some information about preparing for and coping with loss as well as a list of organisations you can get in touch with that may be helpful at this time. To find out more just click here. You can always give our cancer nurses a call as they will be able to give you information and advice regarding this as well. Their number is 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m.

    I'm glad you've posted on the forum as many members here have been in a similar situation with their loved ones and will understand how you are feeling and what you are going through right now and I'm sure they will reply soon to offer their advice and share their experiences with you.

    All the best, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • I am experiencing similar things at the moment. I am 21, my mum was diagnosed in Nov 2015 wirhbstage four lung cancer, for the majority of 2015 she has been in great health and was working full time again. But very suddenly in October started to go down hill.

    After four weeks of hospital care and tons of tests and scans we have been told her cancer has spread to the meninges of the brain, and she has been given a prognosis of months.

    I too am in my final year of university and I cannot begin to even think about completing my dissertation, although the last thing I want to do is fail this year.

    Have you spoken to your mum about hospice care? We are considering that as an option, it just presents a more comforting environment where everyone can spend time together.

    At the hospital my Mum is at they have a fabulous Macmillan palliative care team, perhaps you could speak to one of those nurses and alert them to your step sisters needs. They are fabulous at listening and encouraging you to seek support.

    I hope your family continue to support each other, and I wish your mum peace, whatever form it may come in.  Xxxx