T 4 Oesophageal cancer

           I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I have a limited time left . About 6 weeks ago i got the news that they had found a tumour in my throat which had  already spread to my lungs , yesterday after visiting an oral surgeon it would appear to have now reach my mouth / gums . I start chemo round 2 next friday and it is helping in the late few days i've been able to eat normal food - thats the first time for about 3 weeks . I have lost nearly 4 stone in weight .

     I'm begining to think that my fight for life is not worth fighting . When i look in the mirror i do not see myself there any more , i just see a thin faced man . Sorry this is so depressing but that's were I am .

    How do you come to terms with the fact that there is no cure and that on average people live for 12 months , is it worth going for chemo when the out come will still be the same ?

  • Hello Bill.

    So sorry to hear about your prognosis and that it appears to be spreading. I am similar in terms of a terminal prognosis albeit for Oesophageal Cancer T3 which I had removed via an Oesophogectomy. However after CT in September this year, the cancer had spread to secondaries into my Liver and now inoperable. I am having Chemotherapy and fortunately Herceptin which I tested positive for, and this is going ok at the moment and most importantly I have an appetite still. It must be horrible for you at the moment but hopefully it sounds as though your appetite is coming back too.

    Sometimes I wonder if and when the chemo/drugs become very tough....would it be worthwhile? I do believe that the human body does fight for a lot longer than prognosis estimates and by being as positive as much as you can is very important too. I would carry on with chemo especially if you are getting a bit of an appetite again and the weight should start to improve.

    All of the very best.

    Simon.

  • Hi I think the chemo will perhaps you more comfortable oven that you can eat. It's a personal decision but life is worth fighting for. You never know you may live longer. Warmest wishes. A
  • Hi Bill,

    If your symptoms are easing the chemo must be doing some good, so why not stick at it and see how your body and your cancer react to it?

    You are obviously in a bad place right now which is understandable given the stuff you're having to deal with. I hope you find the strength to carry on with the chemo and have a positive outcome.

    Best wishes

    Dave

  •   Thanks for your advise , i will continue with the chemo and carry on hoping .

  • Good news, look forward to seeing better news from you in the near future. Take care.

  • Good man. We all get the blues during chemo, stick with it and you have a chance of improving. Pack it in and ...

  • Hi Bill

    I'm not sure if i'm doing the right thing telling you this but for you and your families sake I feel the need to tell you so you can make a really informed choice and perhaps discuss it with your oncologist.

    My Dad had Oesophageal cancer that had spread to his liver, they said chemo may have given him another 12 to 24 months and he started chemo in October, he was in pretty good health before he started it, he had the first cycle and was fairly ok with it, the second cycle however made him seriously ill and he ended up in hospital fighting 10 different infections, his body began to shut down and they couldn't help him, he didn't last long and we lost him on 12th Nov.

    Again I feel so awful telling you this but it's not something we thought could happen and I would rather you knew so you could discuss the risks with your oncologist I actually googled it and it hit the media in August this year about chemo death rates and now 19 hospital trusts are having to review their chemo procedures which can only be a good thing.

    My heart goes out to you Bill x

  • Bill

    welcome to the forum and I am so sorry to hear your news

    i myself am Now two years post treatment for throat cancer and I thought that was a bit of a task to get through .... I can't imagine how you are feeling.

    When it comes down to it though you have to do the thing that it best for you...only you will know that and I can only guess that you never comes to terms with news such as yours, you just cope and try to make some sense of it 

    make the most of what you have and who you have around you and enjoy every minute of it

    im not sure I have been of any help, but just had to say hi and come chat to you

    you are 10 times braver than I am and I wish you all the best in whatever you decide and all that you now do

    come back and shout if you feel the need to though

    vatch

  • Hi Jules

       Thanks for taking the time to reply and  for the information . You are quite right I do need all the imformation . I'm sorry to hear about your dad .

  • Hi Vatch

           Thanks for your comments , I'm not brave inside i'm falling apart . I will continue with Chemo because I'm not ready to give up , I have nothing to lose and everything to gain . In the last few days i've been eating almost noramly and even put a a couple of pounds .

        I just hope that after my next chemo on Friday it does not put me back too far .