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Non-small cell Poorly Differentiated Adenocarcinoma

Domonique
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My dad was recently diagnosed with stage four non small cell poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma. He has been considered terminal, as I suppose most stage four patients are. 

I don't know what to do. I've known for about six months now, how bad it is. He is on his second round of chemotherapy while undergoing radiotherapy at the same time. The doctors said that they are trying to prolong his life with "curable intent". 

This cancer is apparently very rare.

He isn't going okay mentally, I don't think. He keeps on implying that we all want him dead ASAP. 

According to the Internet his time might be over just after Christmas if all else fails.

He is my best friend. I love him so much. He isn't ready, nor am I. 

  • Offline

    Hello Domonique,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat; I'm sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. 

    There are quite a few others on this forum who are going through similar experiences with their parents at the moment, so please do feel free to chat to other people here if you feel able to. If you would prefer to talk to someone on the phone, our Nurse Team is also available, and should be able to answer any questions you might have about your dad's care. You can reach them on this free number: 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm.

    In the meantime, do you have much support from family at this tough time? Do keep in touch and let us know how you and your dad are doing.

    Best wishes,

    Helen 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Helen

    Thank you for the reply, Helen. I really do appreciate it. 

    I have been lerking the forums for the past two weeks and find extreme comfort in the fact many people of all ages are still going through the same struggle I currently am. It seems so unique. Although I feel mostly alone in regards to my "irl" support network, these posts and the sheer amount of support that is given through this forum do tend to keep me going. 

    My dad is putting on a brave face currently. He has finished his chemo completely and still hasn't lost his hair, which is weird. The doctors said it would definitely happen. His combined radiotherapy around his oesophagus also was said to minimise ability to eat solids and drink alcohol, but he is drunk every day and still eats very well. He looks completely healthy. He finishes radiotherapy on boxing day, and we have a family holiday scheduled for around Jan-Feb. 
    Although he comments on dying "before next Christmas", he has made a 9 year plan. I'm really proud of him. 

    "Do you have much support from family and friends?" From my family, I have a world worth of support. I only realling feel comfortable consulting my father about that, however, who has offered to pay for professional consultation if need be. From friends, in particular my boyfriend, I lack support. I don't blame them, it's a difficult thing to hear about. I think about it a lot and prefer to keep my friendship and family life separate. It makes for a nice escape once in awhile. 

    This stress of university has finally gotten to me it seems. I may have to resit this term's subjects, due to obvious reasons... but what can you do?

    Thank you for being interested,

    Domonique

  • Offline in reply to Domonique

    I thought I'd post our final update here, as I've seen so many posts about this cancer be left without an ending. 

     

    On 11th March, at 6:52AM, after five days in hospital with minimal sleep, I said goodbye to my daddy Lorenzo for the last time.

    His mood ended up getting better towards the end. He was very conscious, also, and our goodbyes were exchanged. 

    Our journey was quick and short. I have missed him every day since and will continue to miss him forever. 

    Thank you to whoever had the patience to read all of this. 

  • in reply to Domonique

    Hello Domonique,

    On behalf of all the team here at Cancer Chat please accept our condolences. 

    Thinking of you all at this difficult time. 

    Renata
    Cancer Chat moderator

  • Offline in reply to Domonique

    Dear domonique

    I am sending my love and thoughts to you and your family for the loss of your dear father.

    I to lost my dear dad last September , which I thought that day would never come round, but sadly it did and my dad past away with all the family around him. He was diagnosed with suspected adenocarcinoma as they were  not sure and did receive chemo along this diagnosis ,he also had secondary. His actual diagnosis was CUP which is primary cancer unknown so it was a real unsure time. 

    Take one day at. Time as it really is the only way forward and stay in contact

    Take care

  • Offline in reply to Duchie

    Thank you all for your condolences xx 

    [@Duchie]‍ it seems as though our fathers were in a very similar boat in regards to what type of cancer they both had. My condolences for your loss (although I personally know that does not ease the pain). 

    Life is very unforgiving and very, very cruel. I'm sure, like my dad, yours was also loved very much. It is definitely a hard time to say the least, but that's precisely what my family is currently doing... just taking it one day at a time. It's so weird that life goes on without them. The adjustments are a painful time. 

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