My father and brain tumor

In September of 2015, my father was diagnosed with stage 4 brain tumor, inoperable and with an estimated 18th months to live. Now, the time has come. My father has been put on Lorezapam and cannabanoids and everything, but nothing works. He sleeps all day. I just missed 2 days of college with the past weekend to just sit there next to him, hold his hand, and read him updates from ESPN and talk about my goals for when I get out of college. I am so scared, life feels like a shitshow right now. I lost my mother in 2011 to Huntingtons Disease, but am blessed to have an amazing adoptive mother and a family unlike any others. They are my inner support group, but I am looking for some outside support and tips and whatnot as to how to move forward. He will pass any day now and I am scared to lose him. All I want is for him to give me his hour long lectures about something dumb I did, but he no longer speaks. All I want is to play soccer with him again, but he has gone blind and lost most muscle movement. I don't know how to get though this, please help.

  • I feel your pain as I lost my dad last week to throat cancer, I sat with him for days holding his hand, the last 2 he never spoke and barely opened his eyes, but I continued to chat about crap kiss his head and told him I loved him over and over, the hospice nurses told me the hearing was the last to go, I popped on a 60's cd before I left him and his foot was tapping, speak to him, my dad died 4 hours later when I was at home, he looked very peaceful at the end and it has given me comfort his pain is over. the grief I feel now is awful but you WILL get through it, I promise, I sat for a week wearing his dressing gown and looking at his phone and talk to him in my head all the time, keep on this blog and talk about him and yourself, I am convinced to this day he heard every word I said on his last day, take care xx
  • I'm sorry you are going through this but you have got to stop making this about yourself.  This is His last amount of time.  Why dont you tell him how grateful you are for having him and things he has taught you.  Express appreciation and let him know he Did teach you something.

    Just breath and give Love, and tell him thank you and I will See Ya Later. Ya know.

    God Bless You

  • Thanks for the tough advice. I know its not all about me, and I certainly have been looking at it like it is. I know it is good that he is not suffering and he is peaceful. We change his diapers and sheets and bathe him and I think he gets a kick out of all of it. The last thing he said was thanking his sister for helping him. He is so gracious and has the biggest heart ever.
  • so sorry this is happening to you.  just lost my amazing father 3 weeks ago due to brain tumors.  please know you are not alone and if you have any questions at all, i would try to answer my best.  God bless you and your Dad.

     

    pam