Thank you Kathy. This is the hardest thing that has happen in my life and when we went to the hospital to see the dr for a consultation and just preparing ourselves again for no hope. He had a CT scan which we didn't realise he was going to have and the dr said they were going to begin treatment because she thought there was more then one compression on his spine.We will fight together and just maybe there is a light shining and we could have another Christmas together, but we won't take our eye of the ball. Just a little positive. It's sad that you lost your husband 2yrs ago and I have no doubt you think of him everyday of every moment. Finding a place to come to and chat to people who have gone through or going through can be a real help. For me I will be on here quite a lot. Thank you again for your kind words it's a great help to me that someone out there on the net read my words and took time to share their thoughts and love! All the best to you Kathy with hugs!

I'm so very sorry to read you post

My father passed away 4 months ago now having suffered with a aggressive and rare for of bladder cancer.

His main wish was to stay at home with his love ones close. He took great comfort from it.

i understand how difficult this period is, and how frightening the future seems. There is some amazing people on here who will listen and understand. Please don't be afraid to share your feelings and thoughts, you are not alone. Continue to love him and surround him with memories and stories

please take care x

So sad for your loss. It must still be so fresh in your mind, but it gives me some comfort to know that there are people out there who have or going through the same. I'm not alone I know that. Here, where it all boils down to the same CANCER there's no separation, no descrimination. It can take hold of anyone at any age. Man, woman or child. Its all the same and we as the wife, daughter, husband, mother we need to be able to go somewhere to chat to others in the same situation or have through gone through the pain that I'm going through right now. Thank you for taking time to respond to my post. Hugs 

Hi,

I read a report recently which said that doctors try to avoid giving opinions on how long because it is so easy to get it wrong. 

If your husband is in pain, that needs sorting out. There is no excuse for this, as long as patients are honest with the team caring for them,and don't refuse treatment, pain should be manageable. 

The only hope I can offer is that the doctors get their estimates wrong more often than they get it right. If this wasn't the case, I would have died in 2014 when the 12 months I was given when diagnosed ran out.

Good luck to you both.

Dave

Thank you Dave..Glad that you are still here as I'm sure so is your family. My husband takes tramadol 200mg about 3 times a day. He was given the morphine patches but they made him poorly. On Monday he will get his first treatment of radiotherapy to rid the pain. If it works then they will start the chemotherapy to rid or shrink the tumours. My husband is completely honest with me and the dr involved, so there is no issue. We show our emotions and hide nothing. Hiding our feeling doesn't help anyone. We need to know how each of us feel. I cry when it hits me, laugh it's funny. There's no hiding from each other. This week has been the worst and at the end of it we have a little hope. It's not the policy here to estimate how long, but my husband was insistent. The dr was going by the information in front of her, but yesterday my husband had a MRI scan and today a CT scan. So the dr had a bit more to go on and perhaps if the treatment works we might just get another Christmas together.

Thanx Kathy, your words positive, helps no end. I know my husband isn't out of the woods, but we can see some light and we shall focus on that.  Hugs

No worries - if the patches don't work for him, push back and ask what the alternatives are. My Mum also had cancer and it took a while to get a drug regime in place which worked on the pain and didn't make her ill. It seems to be a case of trial and error. 

One tip I received from a friend who is a doctor was not to ask directly about a prognosis as this might make a doctor clam up. Instead ask along the lines of "would you be surprised if he makes it to ..." Christmas/New Year/his birthday in March/our anniversary in September etc. 

We all live by these milestones - I hope we both see another Christmas with our loved ones.