My dad is, I guess we would say, in his last hours/weeks of his terminal diagnosis of prostate cancer. We finally got him released home after much negotiation - it is his wish to die at home. After a year of very quick decline - frequent hospital stays, falls, a heart attack he is now deteriorating to his end. I am a mess. I feel like I have gone slightly mad with it all. I feel like I have been grieving for my amazing dad for nearly a year and almost feel I have nothing left to give. I am shot to pieces emotionally. I can not cope with seeing photos/videos or hearing his voice from his 'well' days as it tips me over the edge. I also feel bitterness towards those of his age that are well and healthy.. that is not me at all.
