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My dad is dying

Patricia123
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I can't believe I'm writing this, I can't believe this day would ever come. 8 weeks ago my dad started feeling ill and the doctor said it was flu, over the weeks he got worse and 2 weeks ago we took him to hospital, we got told his body was shutting down and he had pancreatic cancer, we got told on Thursday it is secondary liver cancer and its terminal and he has 3 to 6 months left. He already lost 2 stone and in 3 days has lost half a stone, he is giving up. Watching my dad die is breaking my heart and I'm a mess. I can't function properly and don't know what to do

  • Offline in reply to Patricia123
    My thoughts are with you and your family... I couldn't come by here, read this and not send my love. We've just found out my mum has stage 4 cervical cancer spread to her liver and lungs... it's a lot to deal with. If you ever need to chat then feel free to drop me a message x
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    Hi Patricia,

    Im new here but saw your post and couldnt not reply to it, Im so so sorry, it must be such an awful shock. I found out afew weeks ago that my dad also doesnt have long left and Im not sure how to cope either. I read what you said about not wanting to upset your family and I can totally relate, i feel like I need to try and stay strong and be as positive as i can. I also feel the same about others, like my friends, feeling uncomfortable around me when I am upset. I remember the morning after being told my dad probably only had a few weeks left to live and telling my friends at school in tears, they tried to be comforting but I know it must be so difficult to know what to say, no one has asked if im okay since and i feel like thats what I need right now, just someone to ask me, to cry to and talk to.

    All i can say is that it will get better and how lucky he must be to have you. Dont bottle your feelings up, always talk to people close to you and just know that you will get through this.

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    I am so so sorry for your awful news, and having to watch your dad in pain. It is such a shock isn't it! My mum was diagnosed in February with a grade 4 glioblastoma brain tumour. Was given 3 months without treatment. Luckily for us mum had treatment and coped well and although the treatment hasn't and won't cure her it hasn't had that much of a detrimental effect on mum. She has tired days but has no pain. It's just hard to get any info on what will happen next and trying to fit in as much as possible before she does get incapable of doing anything. If you need to talk message me. Huge hugs x
  • Offline in reply to Hjsnoopz

    My dad passed away this morning, it doesn't seem real

  • Offline in reply to Patricia123

    Hi Patricia,

    I am so very sorry to hear of your lovely Dad's passing; I too lost my wonderful father due to secondary cancer of the liver - is all just so heartbreaking. I know that you loved him very much.  X

     

  • Offline in reply to Patricia123
    Evening I know exactly how you feel. My mum passed away on the 28th July 2016. She was diagnosed on the 6th May this year with stage 4 lung cancer which had spread to her liver and then her lymph nodes and bones. It that wasn't enough she developed a blood clot and infection. I honestly thought we would have had more time but it wasn't meant to be. She was in hospital due to the blood clot and up until that point, believed she was going to get better. We then had to tell her the truth and she made the decision to come home to in fact die. She was discharged on the Friday and died the following Thursday. My only comfort was she was at home with her family around her and she was no longer in pain. We are arranging the funeral now but does not seen real. I keep expecting her to walk through the door. I don't think it hits home until later on once the funeral is over snd your expected to carry on with life. Thinking of you x
  • Offline in reply to Cazza1984

    Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. My father didn't accept it and wouldn't have pain relief so struggled til the end, it broke my heart seeing his pain. I'm not accepting it at the moment. We are seeing the funeral directors Monday. Sending you love and hugs xx

  • Offline in reply to Patricia123

    Hey, so so sorry for your loss. It's been 2 weeks since my dad passed away so I can fully understand the emotions you're going through right now.  He had Parkinson's disease for 10 years but that was being kept relatively under control, then he was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in March. He was due to have 4 sessions of chemo then 25 days of radiotherapy but only made it as far as the second session of chemo and he became very very ill. He hasn't been able to eat for some time due to the tumour so had lost a lot of weight, but his deterioration felt so quick...last time I saw him he looked like a dying man and I just knew the end was coming...even though we hadn't been told anything of the sort. Dad ended up being taken into hospital following a seizure and it appeared he had an infection (we now know they suspect neutropenic sepsis) but they couldn't tell where it was. They were doing further tests but suddenly he was sick, and aspirated. His death has now gone to an inquest and my mind is a whirlwind of "what ifs" even though my logical brain tells me nothing will change the fact my dad has gone and that it's a blessing he is no longer suffering.  Sometimes it just gives you a little bit of comfort to know you're not alone in how you're feeling, because despite what anyone says, unless you've experienced it yourself, you dont really have any idea how painful it is or how much it affects your life until it happens to you. Never known anything like it. Sending you lots of love and strength to get through the coming tough times. If you ever want to chat, just message xxxx

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