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Mums cancer has spread to most organs....what next?

charlotte86
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Hi,

Last october mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, after christmas we found out it had spread to her liver, then a month ago we got the devastating news that it has now spread to her brain,  she has rapidly deteriated in the past week with radio therapy completly wiping her out, I think the end is near, I am at a horrible throught process where I want her to just go so that she doesnt have to endure the horribleness this disease creates but then I dont really mean that as shes my mum and I want as much time with her as possible.  This is just such a sh*t thing its not fair my mum is only 55 its too young.

 

My question is to those who have experienced the end.....what happens? She is currently on a lot of oramorph and sleeps a lot and in the past week is experiencing a really bad cough and loss of breath.  I am 30 in a months time and selfishly will be devastated if she doesnt make it. 

 

Charlotte x

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    Hi Charlotte, ever so sorry to hear this. I am new to the forum and quite frankly can't believe I would ever be posting/dealing with this horrible situation, my father has jus been diagnosed with incurable prostate cancer that has now spread to his spine. This is my 1st post I hope you don't mind me jumping on. I can't really answer your question as I have not experienced this and the thought is just truly terrifying and horrific but I am sending you warm wishes as I noticed nobody has replied to you yet. I'm trying to think of some good news that I can tell my dad every day about me to keep him going and chirpy. The care these days is fantastic (my dad ironically volunteers for a cancer support group himself) and there are many people out there here to help your Mum. I think it is a case of one step at a time and managing things as best we can. Best wishes to you and your family and strength at this difficult time xXx
  • Offline in reply to pintsizeprincess

    Hey! Thanks for your response. Oh god your poor dad and poor you, its so sh*t isnt it and no one gets in unless your going through it, I have friends and even family that really cannot get their head around how awfull things are for me my dad and sister, we are all trying to stay so strong but sometimes i just break down in private and cry so hard it hurts :(

     

    How is your dad, is he staying positive? iv found my mum is so positive and has never said why me its not fair....i know if i was in her situation I would be like that.  What treatment is your dad having? if its in his spine can he move around much or have you had to get a wheel chair?  We got a chair a few weeks back when she was a bit better and it really helped, meant she could get out the house a bit more.  Now she cant leave the house though and literally sleeps ALL day.

     

    Sending positive thoughts and wishes x x x x

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    Hi Charlotte86,

    I am so sorry to hear about your mother. my father was just diagnosed with Advanced Prostate Cancer and he has only been given a few years left to live, so I'm sure we have shared some similar feelings. If you ever want to chat I'm always here. I will be 26 in less than a month, and it's hard to think about my dad not being here when I get married or have children. My dad is also quite young, he's only 63 right now. I know I don't really have any advice for experiencing the end, but I am always here to chat with if you ever need an extra ear. I'm having a difficult time right now coping with the news of my dad, but maybe it would be good for both fo us to talk. Take good care, and again I send you thougths and prayers getting through this dificult time, as I know (atleat from my experience so far) that no words can really help. :(

  • Offline in reply to charlotte86

    Hi Charlotte,

    Sorry to hear what you and family going through.  Unfortunately treatments can take a lot out of someone, which could be driving the increased sleep.

    It's natural to be consumed with fearing the worst (as cancer would want you to be) but try not to be overtaken by such thoughts, don't give up on mum already.  I know I gave in to the idea of losing my dad practically when he was diagnosed, fearing he wouldn't make various special occasions, but he made them all.  Instead cherish every available moment with mum and family, celebrate your togetherness.  Be strong, be brave for each other.

    Steve.

  • Offline in reply to Stevie82

    Hello love,

    im 35 and I lost my mum 10 months ago. I don't have much time so please excuse the frankness of my post, I just wanted to share my experience of the end. She was eventually taken into hospital with some various symptoms that we couldn't control at home. I went and sat with her daily for about 8 hours a day for the two and a half weeks she was in before she passed away. She was only 60 so wasn't ancient. Over the course of the two weeks she slept more each day and was harder to rouse, her speech started to slur a little but she was still entirely 'there' - the morphine type drugs must cause it. That's basically it, she just slept more and more, sewer and deeper, and eventually went during it. Peaceful and gradual decline. In hospital they control the end for you, all the pain and worry should be just gently covered with medication. 

    I was expecting it for months so didn't realise it's hit me as hard as it did when I received the phone call. 

    Anyway, love to you, no matter how hard life gets for you, eventually I promise you will start to feel better. Eventually xxx

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