Hi, I'm so sorry to hear of your situation your currently in. My situation is weirdly the exact same. Dad found out a couple of months back he had a Tumour and it was terminal and he's also gone downhill so fast. He was just retired ready to spend some relaxing years with my mum, and I was also working at the other end of the country at the time and have quit my job to come home to help. He's lost all interest in food and can't get out of bed to walk. 

When you first see him you will be shocked, he will have lost a lot of weight and it will be very upsetting the first day or two. I know exactly how you feel, I was so scared to get home to see how skinny, I'll and weak my dad looked.

but, after a couple of days you will get used to it in a way. You'll realise now is the time to enjoy the last few weeks of his life together with him, helping him and keeping him nice and comfortable. You'll also see that your dad is still your dad, and if it's anything like mine he will be dealing with it so bravely even though he knows what's happening to him. 

Im dreading when it actually happens, but for now all you can do is try your best to push that to the back of your head and enjoy the time you have with him. 

Hi, thanks for the reply, I'm really sorry you find yourself in this situation too.

Respect to your for giving up work to help care for him, I can only imagine how hard that must be to see someone you love grow weaker day by day.

I'm aware that my Mum glosses over things slightly with regards to how my Dad is, I know the last time I saw him he was unrecognisable from how he has always looked.

My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer too in March.  I have spoken to others who have lost their parents too soon and taken some of those lessons.

I spend time telling my dad about how amazing our life has been, and discuss all the wonderful things and memories we had.  I tell him I love him and hug him every time I see him.

My friends say now is the time to say all those things you thought you should some day, so don't wait to do so.  Remind him how amazing he is and how you are going to live your life to the full to honour him and all the sacrifices he made for you.

I also had another friend tell me that she told her dad not to hang on if he was in pain or suffering, even though she did not want him to go.  She said that her dad passed away shortly after receiving this reassurance that he could rest in peace.

I don't know what works for everyone, these are just collective experiences I am sharing, so sorry if they are not helpful.

I do wish you much strength through this impossible time xxxx

Hi , we lost Mum not long ago . As a family it was really hard work helping my dad care for her , your mum needs all the help you can give but don't beat yourself up about not being there all the time . Make sure you mum takes all the help available ( trust me it's there ) . Just be there when you can , as many calls you can make to talk to them when they are awake helps a lot .

The one most important thing is look after yourself,if you make yourself ill you are of no help . 

Take care and hope all goes as best as it can ...

Thank you both for the good advice.

I've tried to be "there" from a distance, daily contact, sending shopping, and gifts for them both, but now its sort of a relief to be able to be with them both.

The change in my Dad, even from a few weeks ago is devastating, he has another infection, so is either sleeping or talking nonsense, he doesn't want to eat and even just encouraging him to drink a little is a struggle:(

Thanks for you reply, I'm sorry you lost your Dad.

We've got a really good nurse and carers popping in too, Dad wanted to be at home, so at least hes getting his wish, its just soul destroying to watch such a quick detoriation.