My mother was diagnosed with Metastatic Stage 4 Stomach cancer... This was only 2 weeks ago and when we got the news we were absolutely devastated and destroyed.. My dad broke down crying like I had never seen him before and that destroyed me even more.. My parents have been together since they were about 14.. I'm currently 23 and torn apart. I never knew what people meant when they say that they're heartbroken, Until now. I felt a gaping hole in my best and my Heart literally hurt.. I think I'm in between a state of disbelief and misery... Doctors are trying to drain her right lung after a successful left lung drain but it's giving problems and doesn't want to stop draining.. They haven't even mentioned chemo or any other treatment yet, the only thing they said was that before anything, she needs to be strong enough and off the oxygen but it's not looking good... I can still see my mom at the hospital but she's very skinny and has almost no energy to even speak at times.. I guess I'm sort of stable because of the fact that I can see her, but I don't know how much longer she has left... I know that nothing will ever be the same again, and the thought makes me break down and feel lonely even though we have family around us... The only thing my mom asked us was to be strong.. It's extremely difficult but most of the time I've been able to hide it in front of her.. She knows how I feel and she understands. The thing that worries me a lot as well is that I don't want my dad to go into depression and give up on life afterwards... I'm going to try and be as strong as I can for him as I'm and only child, but I feel like it's easier to say than to do... I want him to understand that life goes on and that she'll ALWAYS be with us no matter what. I don't know what to expect, how to cope with not seeing her walk through the front door ever again, or how long it'll take us to accept the fact that there's nothing that can be done for my Beautiful and loving mother..... And the fact that I still have to go to work because I might lose my job, is both extremely difficult and a blessing in disguise.. Again, I'm really worried about my father and with trying to help him and make sure that he knows that I'm here for whatever he may need. Him being more self kept doesn't really help, but I think that he'll open up in his own time. I don't want him to hold anything in.. I feel like time is passing by and we're just sitting around, helpless, waiting for the worst to happen.... I HATE YOU CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
