Cancer Research UK main site
This discussion has been locked.
You can no longer post new replies to this discussion. If you have a question you can start a new discussion

I'm dying of cancer & have weeks to live

Swiftgirl69
Offline

I have cancer for the second time & now have a few weeks to live. I'm a 46 year old female. I have cancer in my pelvis, small bowel & around my liver. My bowels haven't worked since Oct/Nov. So as a result I can't eat & have been in hospital since Nov being fed thru a picc line. But it has caused major vomiting & so now I've had to stop the feed. And I now must accept I will die in a very short space of time. 

I am totally heartbroken. I always believed I would be healed. I've juiced, attended a herbalist, reiki, visualisation, meditation, positive thinking, the list goes on. But I've been told my small bowel is totally matted & there is nothing can be done. I met the love of my life 2 years ago & we're engaged. I had always suffered from anxiety & problems from childhood & went to counselling when I had cancer 5 years ago. I truly feel my life is only just beginning & now I'm dying. 

How can I make peace with dying? I was online shopping last week buying loads of clothes for the year ahead I was so sure I would be healed. I've just read Anita Moorjani's book Dying to be Me who had an amazing Near Death Experience & from what she says there is nothing to fear from death & I do believe that. I just feel heartbroken cos I don't feel my time on earth is finished. I have so many hopes plans & dreams. :-( 

  • Offline in reply to Swiftgirl69

    Hello, Rhonda, hope you are keeping comfortable and still looking for you new clothes.

    Take care, sending you hugs.  God bless.

    Hazel x

     

  • Offline

    Hi Rhonda,

    A belated welcome to the CC forum. I've just been reading through this thread and wish I could offer advice about how to make peace with dying as that's something I struggle with. I personally cope through a mixture of denial, wishful thinking and a personal belief that dying is nothing more than going to sleep and not waking up. I lost my Mum to Cancer and I was with her with my sister and my Dad when she died. She looked so peaceful and relaxed afterwards. I only hope that when I eventually lose my own fight with Cancer I have a similarly peaceful experience. 

    Good luck
    Dave

  • Offline in reply to davek

    Hi Save

    Thank you for your reply. So sorry about losing your mum.

    Yes I too believe dying is not something to fear.  I guess for us its just fear of the unknown. And mostly for me it's because I want to live longer on earth as I have so much more I want to do, so much more love to give & I had so many amazing plans. 

    I wish you nothing but peace in the time ahead. Lovely to chat to you. ..

    Rhonda X 

  • Offline in reply to Swiftgirl69

    Hi Rhonda, I hope you are well today, or as well as you can be. My husband has bowel cancer and liver cancer. Reading your posts actually gave me some strength. Sending hugs to you and your fiance.   PS Dont forget to buy a bikini while internet shopping  you will need it in the pool!    xxxxxxxx

  • Offline

    I hope you prove everyone wrong and continue to be able to fight your cancer. Love, hugs and healing x 

  • Offline in reply to Swiftgirl69

    Hello Rhonda, hope you have a peaceful night.  

    Love and hugs, Hazel xxx

  • Offline in reply to gerimc

    Hi Gerimc 

    Thank you for your reply.  I'm still shopping lol. Bought a leather jacket last night from eBay & bidding on another this evening. I am feeling upbeat & positive & I fully intend to walk out of this hospital on the mend. I intend to baffle the medics & have a life free of cancer!! 

    I wish you & your husband all the best. Pray like your life depends on it..... cos it does!! 

    I'll get looking for that bikini lol.

    Lots of love coming your way

    Rhonda :) 

  • Offline in reply to Di_W

    Hi Di_W

    I fully intend you!! Best wishes to you & your loved ones. 

    Thank you for your reply

    Rhonda :) 

  • Offline in reply to Swiftgirl69

    Hi there, just checking in on you x

  • Offline in reply to Swiftgirl69

    Hello Rhonda, how are you?  Just to let you know I'm thinking of you, God bless.

    Hazel x

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.