Hi Becca

Firstly I would like to welcome you to this forum and am sorry your only just receiving a reply!! I don't know how you've been missed!! I am sure there will be others along shortly who have had similar experience.

Oh Becca how devastating for your father and you and your family!! I don't know what will happen but I wouldv thought he'd be better from getting his pain under control at least!! And I am sure the can do that and it sounds like other treatment may be offered too!!

I do know how you feel as my father was 47 when he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. He declined treatment to try to give him a little longer but he opted for quality rather than quantity!! But treatment has got better I think since then that was a long time ago now I was only about 25 then. It was a horrendous time.

As for what to do? I think just tell him you love him and hug him and look after yourself by using support like this site is good for talking about what's going on and how you feel. Don't forget there's nurses too for any medical questions!! It all must be really difficult at the moment To do anything for your father with him being in pain at the moment.

Please keep posting and let us know how your doing!!

Best wishes Ann

Hi Becca,

Welcome to this very supportive site and thanks for sharing your story regarding your fathers terminal cancer with us. I, like Ann, must apologise that you didn't receive a reply until Ann's. That's quite rare and I am so sorry and hope you will forgive me. To hear that your father has cancer is bad enough but to also be told it's terminal must have hit like a hammer blow. But Becca, if they can start him on chemotherapy, It may give you a lot longer with him.

Cancer is a terrible disease; I have over the years lost my grandmother my mother and an aunt all to breast cancer. I know what it's like to see someone you love slowly fading away and to know there is nothing you as an individual can do to stop the spread of the cancer make one feel so helpless. All you can do is what Ann said, be there for him and let him know you love him. I have a big regret that I never told my grandmother I loved her. I know she knew that but It's nice to be actually hear someone say it. There is one other thing I would say to you Becca, Cancer doesn't just affect the patient, It affects the whole family so you need to take care of your self to. If you feel like crying, don't bottle it up as crying is natures safety valve to release those pent up emotions. Anytime you want to vent, rage or just talk please come back on here and you will not be ignored again.

Please take care, thinking of you and sending best wishes to you and your family, Brian

Hi Becca

I have just seen your post this morning and I don't know how I missed it sorry. I am so sad  on hearing the news about your dad,  What I will say although I am no expert, don't give up hope for your dad as they can do wonderful things now.  I lost my dad when I was very young and I know what it feels like to lsee them so poorly, it is awful.  What I will say to you is treasure every moment you have with your dad tell him everyday that you love him and try I know it is very hard but try and be strong for him.

Also look after yourself and your little boy and I send you a great big huuuuuuuuug,

Take care

Beryl x

Hello, thanks everyone for your replies. Much appreciated. My dad got an infection from the hospital so was moved into isolation. He was in there for 2 weeks with no improvement. Then we were told there was a space in the hospice over the road. Well I just thought the worst then that was it! But he is just in there rather than being in hospital, and what a lovely contrast compared to the hospital. Everyone is so nice and I feel like they actually care rather than just doing what they are meant to do which is how I felt on the ward. He was made more a fuss of in the first 12 hours in there than the whole 5 weeks in hospital. Doctors, nurses, physiotherapist who has given him exorcise a, as he wasn't encouraged to move around and in the past 2 weeks in hospital was totally isolated to one room he has gone from walking up 2 flights of stairs a day the day before going into hospital, to barely being able to lift his feet up.

Today I the day we are finally going to see the cancer doctor and find out if chemo is going to be effective at all (if he thinks he is well enough) and also learn more about the cancer because really don't know much at all. We just want him to be able to come home and he wants to be in his own environment but sooooo pleased he is out of that hospital Atleast.

Becca.

Hi Becca

Good to read your update and so pleased that your Dad is receiving much better treatment at the hospice.  Have to say from my experience of these places the staff are wonderful. so supportive of the whole family and I found visiting them much easier than the clinical surroundings of a hospital.  Hope the appointment  on the 2nd was not too gruelling - sometimes there is so much to take in. We used to take a notebook and then read it later to jog our memories as to what was said.  Wishing you a peaceful weekend.Jules54

Hi Becca,

So glad to hear your dad's condition is improving. Hopices's are often better at dealing with pain relief. My mothers cancer was terminal but before we know that, she spent about a fortnight in a hospice and they were so good and got her pain under control so quickly. She came home for several months afterwards but unfortunately the cancer had spread to far. But I hope you dad is found to be well enough to have chemo and that they think it is worth trying. If he can come home, I think he will improve even more for after all there is no place like home. Hope you had good news, Please take care and sending best wishes to you and your family, Brian.

Thanks everyone for your support. Sadly my dad passed away on the 9th at home. He had been home 3 weeks. It was the funeral on Tuesday. All in all he was told he had cancer then died 8 weeks later. I still can't believe it. He deteriorated so much once he came home. He was in so much pain. He is in a better place now. X

Hi Becca

Thanks for letting everyone know the sad news about your dad.

Best wishes to you and your family,

Jane

Oh Becca,

I am so sorry to hear about you dad. You must be feeling devastated but at least as you say he is in a better place now and no longer in pain. It is always hard for the family but it's even worse when it's so quick. Please feel free to come on here at any time for now you may well find you need support now more than ever. Sending condolences to you and you family, Brian