Hi Ian

Thanks, yes weekend was good, great pub lunch on Friday with our son and heard all about his birthday gift from his other half (he spent the day as a zookeeper  at London Zoo and thoroughly enjoyed the experience).  We were both our socially in the evening as usual on Friday and then babysat the grandchildren on Saturday (no hard work involved, just storytime and both were in bed and asleep by 7.15).  Sunday very quiet as hubby slept most of the day and I wondered the house finding things to do.

Have a good week and hope the four legged lodger is not too demanding.  Take care.  Jules xx

Hi Jules,

Four legged lodger arrived at 5.00am this morning as Jo was driving to Oxford for the week.  I went back to bed, to wake, finding her totally under the bedclothes beside me!!  My Jack doesn't ever attempt to go upstairs as he knows he is not allowed.  But what am I going to tell my new lady friend when I next see her ???   That I've been sleeping with another women!! That's not going to go down very well at this early stage of getting to know her is it!!

Glad to hear your weekend was good.  As time progressed I remember Debbie spending increasing time sleeping and then later was too tired to rise and go down stairs till the afternoon for a short time before going back to bed...but so long as they have cotrol of the pain that's wht really matters.

Have a nice day my virtual friend.

Another big hug coming your way .

Ian x

Oh Ian, I am laughing out loud on reading your latest post.  Your new four legged lodger obviously craved company and I am sure 'her' secret is safe with you.  Just shows she appreciates her surroundings though perhaps a bit too much.  Wonder what Jack was thinking when you came downstairs.  I am sure your lady friend would understand (to a point) but you may need to make sure the new lodger knows her place sooner rather than later ha ha.  It certainly sounds as though you are in for an interesting week - good luck.

Grey and damp here this morning but will be going to visit Mum in around an hour so will get an 'airing'.  You are so right about hubby and the fact that so far they have been able to keep the pain under control is an enormous relief.  Sadly his mood is outside my control but he is visiting his former boss on Friday and that has given him something else to think about (they have a job coming up in India that they need his imput on) so he has been in  deep thought mode ready for the meeting and e-mails have been exchanged in readiness.

Happy dog-minding. Big hugs returned.  Jules xx

Hi Jules,

That's great news re hubby and some work he can get his attention on.  I think it is one of the hardest things about premature death for the patient is their premature loss of identity as their world view begins to close down on them and they really don't want to give up the person they have been.  So this is good news .

I am coping better today with the extra four legs!!

Against this I have had a wet persistent cough thingy - as many have had draining my enthusiasm on things... but there is hope and a life out there at the end of the tunnel of sadness....and I for one, have, at least for the time being (and hopefully more), found it.  It is worth looking for and it does begin to put things in order and realign the focus off of the great sadness into a new gladness and appreciation for being alive.  We all must remember our lost loved ones would have wanted us to find happiness beyond the horrible fait that has been randomly dished out on them. We have to face the New World without them but it is worth looking for a New and possibly very different soul to learn to share this New World with:  it really is better to be with another as opposed to be facing the New World alone ~ or so I now find.

Kind thoughts all round

Ian xx

Morning Ian

Glad to read your 'extra lodger legs' are settling down (hope she knows who's boss).

It is so good to read that you are finding new happiness in your life and I think you are right in saying that its 'out there' somewhere if and when you are ready to go looking.  There are many emotions to deal with along the way I am sure but finding good company is precious and wish you many happy and peaceful days ahead.

Hubby is off to visit his old boss/workmates this  morning for a 'brainstorming' meeting  (though has looked grey and tired this past few days and has not been outside at all) so hoping this picks up his mood a little.  We are both out with our respective friends tonight so am looking forward to that but for now am off to the launderette - hey ho needs must.

Have a good weekend and sending cyber hugs (an extra pat for Jack for coping with an ' doggie invader' in his domain (though think he is probably getting used to it too).  Jules x

Morning Jules,,

Yes we are getting our lodger socialised into our regime .

Sounds as if you are both taking the right line of action as regards your day to day living and so long as hubby paces himself he should come through and hopefully get some gratification from his work involvement.  I am sure you are, but do beware of the possible negative effect of him being involved in work! .... it's important that he does it ....... but it may subsequently have raised his sub-conscious awareness of who he was and who he still wants to be.  So please be prepared.  As we both know the effects of this illness can give opportunities with one hand and then always takes them away, in some way, with the other.... I don't want to be negatitive just concerned for you my friend.

I hope I am wrong and that your weekend does go to plan and is a good, no great, one.

Lots of "cyber" (I love it!) hugs and kisses to you too Jules.

Ian xxx

Thanks Ian, am trying to keep a level head but totally get what you say (he was not quite so eager to go this morning(is now used to staying in bed till mid morning but meeting was at 9 and he has a good hours drive each way) but as the boss is also a friend of longstanding am sure it will be a 'working breakfast' and I am also sure he may well be lower tomorrow when he recalls what he is missing.  It appears there is no 'happy medium' but I am taking full advantage of an empty house to have no TV on for a few hours and have just logged on whilst having a cuppa to give me the energy to do a few hours of 'unmonitored housework' - sitting down because hubby does has become a bit of an issue that I need to work on.  Enjoy whatever you are up to this weekend and thanks for that much appreciated 'cyber' friendship. jules xx

Hi Jules

Was pleased to hear that your husband is off to meet his old boss and workmates.  You may well be right in that he will feel low afterwards when he realises what he is missing but if his colleagues can get his input and ideas working it may give him a boost. 

House work in our home is slightly different.  I am the one suffering from cancer and hubby is doing most of the vacuming.  I still do the washing and ironing and cleaning the bathrooms - that is something he cannot seem to get the hang of.  I have to say he is pretty good most of the time and has offered to do the iroining sometimes athough he is not up to my standard.  He knows how to use the washing machine so if I get worse (before I get better) as the treatment goes on he will take on a bit more. 

I really do hope your husband gets a boost from meeting hiss colleagues even though he has not been so good this week.  I know how he feels.  I had round 3 on Tuesday was fine Wednesday, not so good yesterday but ok again today.  I just take each day as it comes.   I have said that I will call in to my office the week after next to catch up with them.  Apparently there are a few people suffering with a virus which I definetly do not want.

Best wishes.

Gill

Hi Gill

Thanks for your reply and hope you are still on the feeling better day as the treatment can certainly give you rollercoaster days.  Taking things day by day really fits the cancer journey though in  many ways it should also be the way to go in general I feel.  Hubby managed his trip into his meeting well and was back home by lunch time and seemed pleased he did not need top up pain relief after the drive.  He had a short nap in the afternoon and we were both out with our respective friends in the evening so all good here. (I even managed a tiny win at the  bingo - well it will pay for the next time I go!!).  One he is up and 'with it' later we will have the excitement of the weekly shop and then see what the weekend brings weatherwise before deciding how we will spend it (usually pretty quietly).  Hope you and your husband have a peaceful weekend.  Jules x

Hi Gill,

Glad to see your post and can only hope things are as good with you as possible..

I send a virtual hug - to you  - a friend I don't really know, but hey life is too short not to ..

Ian