Hi All,

A New Year in every respect for me.  And, I seem suddenly able to deal so much better with my coping too.  I do feel I am coming out of this sadness.  With what I've learnt from Debbie on board, ensuring I am a better and more thoughtful person, I am beginning to tackle this New World of mine and finding New Horizons and new people to share them with. .....

There is a World at the end of this tunnel of sadness.  I've lived with the White Elephant of cancer in the room and now with the the sadness it leaves when it's gone.  Yet with both, in the end, it comes down to grasping the nettle of managing them and journeying on...

Love to All my virtual Friends

Ian

Ian

Your words are inspiring and hopeful and I wish  you all the very best on your new journey.Have also now responded on my own thread (thanks for being on the forum) so wont repeat myself other than to say I appreciate your kind words.  Have a good day.   Jules xx

Thanks Jules,

You speak of your husband's 'breakthrough pain' and it brings it all back to me ~ my heart goes out to you ~ I know things are going to become tougher  for you as this year progresses.  You just got to hang on in there Jules, keep smiling, keep talking and sharing, and enjoying every moment you can xxx.  We are all here for you as you have been for me.

Hi Haff,

I liked the way you summed up your feelings moving forward this year, and I'm glad that you are finding coping a little easier.  It was strange reading your post as I too feel that this New Year I am coping very slightly better.  It is just little steps but the pain, although still there, is not quite as severe as it was.  I don't know about you but although I can enjoy things again I still have this feeling of "what is there for the future?", it's a silly feeling I know as I have a wonderful family and hopefully many happy times ahead.  Guess the "being optimistic again", comes a little further down the grief journey.  Wishing you all the best.  Hope x

Hi Hope,

You are right it is little steps.  The pain and sadness don't go: we just learn to cope.  But we have to move on.  My Debbie was worried towards her end at how we would all cope, though she believed she'd done all she could to prepare us for it.... She would not have wanted me to be as sad as I have been this last year and would only have wanted that I 'get a life' and find happiness ~ and it is this new process that I feel I am ready to embrace now.

I will be taking her along within the new me on my New Journey though.  To that end, I am opening myself up to look at the possibility of New People in my life and creating a New Life....Debbie would really have wanted me to do so...It's a bigger step than most we take but has to be made if I am going to pull out of the doldrums cancer leaves us with.

I hope, Hope, you find some way of reaching out beyond.  Time doesn't heal but allows us to find strategies of coping better and looking forward to where we can go to in this New World that has been forced upon us.  As Deb always said: there are more solutions than problems: it's just finduing the right one.

Lots of kindness to you.

Ian x

Thank you so, so much. This has helped in more ways than I could list! Thoughts are with you - Debbie's thoughts and notes (and yours) are making a big difference right now. X

Morning Ian

Just wanted to take the time to wish you a great weekend (better weather would be a bonus but doubtful by the sound of it down here!!).  Its great to see you 'getting there' on your personal journey and from Debbie's perspective you are doing her proud.  Hope you and the children are all keeping well.  Hope to chat again when we return from our short 'escape' break.  Sending hugs and peaceful thoughts.  Jules xxx

Thanks Becky,

It is really good to know my experiences and journey (and Debbies) are helping ~ it's not easy, any of it ~ all we can do is share and try an make some sense of it all.

Lots of kind thoughts.

Ian xx

Hi Ian,

You have many wise words.  We can't help the immense sadness we feel when we lose somebody we love, but we have to try very hard to move forwards.  Your lovely Debbie was so right about "finding the write solution" we have to find what works best for us to be able to rebuild our lives, those solutions will probably be different for everyone.  I think I'm slowly finding mine.  Glad to read you're having a nice weekend.  Take care.  Hope x