Thanks Jules,

It was 11.30 ... and that is now past! ... a few tears of sadness ... and some lovely words and video clips put on facebook by my daughter .... and now time and I move on ... I journey alone for the moment but must try and address that in this coming year...

love and hugs to you kind friend xxx

Hi Ian

Am sure your 'moving on' time will come when you are ready  and there are some things that' just happen' when they are meant to.  Lovely that your daughter  remembered her Mum's anniversary in a way that could be shared.   Look after yourself and hopefully the weather can improve a bit so that Jack does not need too many hosing downs!!  Hugs and peaceful thoughts are sent your way my virtual friend.  Jules xx

Thanks Jules,

Jack is supposed to be doing some filming at the end of this week, I believe, for a TV children's film!  So I will have to bath him sometime this week.

Yes you are of course right, things will happen when it is right for them to do so. Yet, either way, I wont be forgetting any of what I have been through ~ even the very difficult bits ~ because in the memory of them I am still there with her, experiencing life together.  Although I have come to realize, while the memories can/may last 'forever' as a record, the special moments together are precious and fragile and only exist in the moment they are happening ... and then they are gone and a memory.

Lots of love, and hope you are now all healed from your fall!  Enjoy being in the moment and hope you have some special moments this week.

Big hug

Ian x

hi Ian

Interesting life your dog leads - stardom beckons so yes I suppose he will have to go under the hose/in the bath to put his best 'paws' forward.  How exciting.  Do you get to go along or is this something your daughter gets involved in?

My bruises are changing colours nicely thanks and its only the shin that still tender to the touch but what can I say, launching myself off the staircase a couple of steps short was not very sensible and I only have myself to blame .  For some reason it seemed to affect me more emotionally than physically but picked myself up (literally) and hope to be a bit more careful in future.

Do try and live for today and know storing memories for the future should be a good thing but our lives generally are pretty mundane.  We are all being well away first weekend in Feb to Bournemouth for a social event with friends  and at the moment it seems to have a huge amount of significance  to me especially (two years since last time we did it which was just after hubby's diagnosis).  It falls a a few days after hubby's next hospital check up so a little bit apprehensive but hoping it will give him something to look foward to.  Am also in the process of arranging for son and girlfriend to come to dinner and also daughter and family - the offer of a free meal (even though my cooking is nothing to shout about) is usually welcome.

Have a good week. Take care. Jules xx

Jules!  I am sure your cooking is just fine.  Glad you are recovering .. yes I know what you mean I have been emotionally sensitive all year; it takes little to gain a response.  Although I am coping better now.

No Jo-Rosie does all the animal work (and collects all the payment too!).  Apparently Jack was a star today on set and had lots of different actions to perform.  I am still trying to find out what the film is going to be call: its for BBC apparently.

Virtual hugs

Ian x

Hi Ian

Glad Jack behaved himself and must be interesting having him involved in filming (maybe you could become involved as a film extra.

Hubby has started (beginning of the week) on new timetable of medication but admitted tonight that the discomfort has not changed (I had to ask to find out as usual and now he has withdrawn into himself again - heartbreaking and worrying in equal measure ). We go to his next consultant's appointment next Tuesday so it cames as no surprise that he is extra quiet (his usual way of preparation). We are two years on since formal diagnosis but I dont think I will ever get used to feeling shut out (even though I sont expect him to change now).  Will just be glad when we have been and I know once again what is happening as being kept in the dark is not helping.  Sorry you dont need this rambling rubbish.

Hope you are keeping okay and that your son and daughter managing too.  Virtual hugs and chat again soon.  Jules

Hi Jules,

Yes I do "need this rambling rubbish" as it is not that at all.  Remember, I have been there.  Whilst Debbie and I spoke about these matters clearly more openly than your hubby will allow, I know, and knew at the time,she was not always ~ unless in panic (and there were those times too) ~ sharing everything.  She, as I am sure your hubby is, wanted at some level to protect us from the inner deep sadness that they must be feeling (and I cry in memory as I write this) and can't escape....... NO, you must keep talking Jules and sharing how you are feeling.  I am still having to be careful re the stomach ulcer I had 3 years ago and the stress behind that was trying to silently and strongly cope with the stress I was feeling but not letting out ...... Don't go there please ... just keep sharing.

Lots and lots of kind thoughts and a big hug,

Ian x

Hi Jules,

No time to write this weekend as have an extra dog for the weekend to look after!*!

Hope you have a good one.

Ian x

Good morning Ian,

How are you this morning. Inundated with dogs, wet and muddy perhaps??? I am about to go out with ours, and it is definately wet and muddy, but at least the sun is shining!!!!

Hugs

Annabel. xx