Morning (just) Jules,

You are so right with 'the problem shared....' bit.  This really helps at all levels and whatever one's relation to the disease I feel.

I think the tiredness bit you refer to has probably got a lot to do with 'latent stress' you are carrying. The emotional side of all this is difficult to get to grips with as it is so often irrational and hidden.  Do take time out just for you though? I didn't enough and it was a mistake. Maybe you need to somehow fit a little more 'me time' in?  I know it is difficult but it does allow a fresher approach to the next stage you face.... Sorry if I sound like a nagging parent!

I think you got it right yesterday if the weather there is anything like it is here today.  You did well to take advantage!!

Have a nice weekend

Ian x

It's the first difficult one tomorrow!  It would have been our 35th wedding anniversary ..........

.............. and yes I am so very grateful for the 34 and half years we had  - every single one of them right to the last breath .......but there should have been so many more ....... and there wont be .

Bless you Ian, a very poignant day ahead for you today. If I was not working I would raise a glass ( maybe later) in support and rememberance. In my thoughts.  Jules xx

Hello Jules hope you are well and enjoying the lovely bank holiday weather I just want to wish hubby and yourself a good report tomorrow at the hospital I do know how you feel sitting waiting wondering hoping what you may hear its frightening fingers crossed anyway starting now ....Take care Jules .....Susananne

Thanks Susananne.  At least we have first appointment of the day so do not have to wait around.  Will be visitingMum afterwards as she has got used to my Tuesday 'drop ins'.  Hope you doing okay today,Jules xx

...I took it easy today and did some quiet things ... as suggested....love to you both and I will be thinking about you tomorrow Jules.

Ian xxx

Hello Haff1,How are you today Im sorry I didnt message you yesterday,these special days are so hard Tony and I were married 40 years on May 8th he passed away Feb 5th the day after his birthday its like living in hell isnt it ,bloody cancer ,taking Debbie and Tony from us when there are so many evil people around why take the love of our lives from us it makes me so angry and sad I still got a card for Tony on our anniversary so did the childrenand we had a toast too ...Right thats enough moaning ...The weather is realy warm but cloudy and dull here in Cornwall,my greyhound Rusty and I went for a lovely walk around the Eden trail it took nearly 2 hours met lots of other dog walkers so lots of chatting ..Rusty is my hero such a lovey loyal friend I dont know what I would do without him ..Did you say you had a dog?...My lap top stopped working yesterday and my son is fixing it hopefully so im on Tonys desk top one and it feels odd compared to mine so fingers crossed ...I hope things get easier for you soon ,my thoughts are with you ....Susananne

Thanks for your 'thought's Ian.  A quick update on Hubby  is that the check up went okay, all appears stable at present (despite an earlier blip in his earlier blood tests - not uncommon with his illness apparently but latest results show liver/bloods recovered again so no further action at present )- phew. Next appointment in two months all being well.  Take care of yourself.Jules xx

Thanks for the update Jules.  It sounds OK for the moment.  How did hubby take it?  Its his attitude that really matters here and in the effect it has on your coping.  It is so under stated how difficult it is to be the one who cares ...

Lots of love

Ian