HIYA

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

I FORGOT TO SAY IN MY ANDROID POST I BOTCHED THE DATE OF THE SHOW - ALAN DAVIES WASNT WED 6TH BUT TONIGHT. IAN STAYED IN THE ROOM ALL DAY AND ONLY WALKED FROM THE BED TO THE BATHROOM THEN TO THE BALCONY FOR LUNCH AND BACK TO BED. IF THERES ONE THING WE HAVE CAUGHT ONTO VERY FAST ITS PICK ONE ACTIVITY FOR THE DAY. IAN SAVED HIS BATTERIES FOR SITTING IN THE SHOW.  I GOT US A TAXI FOR THE 4MIN DRIVE TO THE THEATRE BUT HE MANAGED A VERY QUIET SHUFFLE BACK TO THE HOTEL AFTER THE SHOW.

AND ALAN DAVIES SHOW...... WHAT CAN I SAY.... MY CHEEKS ACHE FROM GRINNING AND I HAVENT HAD SO MANY BELLY LAUGHS IN WEEKS... NO MONTHS!!!!  I AM SO GLAD WE CAME AND SO GLAD IAN DUG SO DEEP - YET AGAIN.  HE LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND IT WAS SO GOOD TO SEE THAT HAPPENING.

SO NOW ITS 11PM AND I HAD BETTER GO TO SLEEP READY FOR THE DRIVE BACK TO OUR REAL LIFE.  AND TRY TO SORT THE FURRIES AND THEIR NOCTURNSL WANDERINGS!

NO FEAR OF HAVING TO AVOID THE PLAY FROM LAST NITE - I DOUBT IT WILL EVER LEAVE NZ SHORES. IT IS "KINGS OF THE GYM" SET IN A NZ SCHOOL GYM TEACHERS OFFICE.  I LOVED THE LAST PLAY BY THE PLAYWRIGHT BUY PERHAPS HE SHOULD HAVE RESTED ON HIS LAURELS HAHAHS.

NITE NITE!!!!

Hello,

Glad you managed to get to your Alan Davies show to celebrate your 36th anniversary.  I know what you mean about 'saving your batteries' - my Dads illness made him more and more tired, but we just did what we could as a family in the times when he was awake to have a laugh and joke with him and make those times as special and meaningful as we possibly could.

If your cats (I too have a 'fur family')  were in the UK just now it would have solved the problems with their nocturnal wanderings,  we have had a bit of snow lately and my cats meow at the back door to get out, but when they see the snow out there they take one look and change their minds and go back to the couch!

Katielouie x

Hello Elkay

Was so pleased to read yet another goal reached and enjoyed, you are an awesome couple. The stamina both Ian and you are finding to fight (and enjoy) the precious time you have together is truly amazing. Wishing you more laughter as you cope along this difficult journey.Jules

Hi Support Team.

The best laid plans of mice and men.......and wives!!!!

Hotel checkout was 11am but Ian was still in bed at ten to 11 and whispered that he wished he could stay one more night cos he couldnt face the 2 1/2hr trip home.  His wish....... My command. :-D

Within 20min we were in another available room (because ours was booked by someone else) and a porter helped us move. Then Ian proceeded to snooze tll lunch then snooze till our evening meal. By then he was much brighter and he polished off goodies from a nearby organic shop - broccoli and blue cheese soup and a grainy roll and part of an afghan biscuit.  His bouncebackability (new word!!!) never fails to amaze me.

We've just watched England thrash NZ in 20:20 cricket on TV so now its time for sleep again.  But both of us this time.

So tomorrow we try to leave again.  And I texted our neighbour/friend to warn the furry rebels that She Who Must Be Obeyed will be home in 18hrs.

:-X

At the temperatures we've been enduring, I dont hold out much hope for snow to quell the rebellion hahahaha

Am thinking of Expat as I sign off..........  :'(

Lorraine

Elkay,

So good to read your news and that your stubbeness and sheer determination not to give in to this disease has created memories and laughter to treasure. I take my hat off(from the snow and sleet here in the u.k.) to you both.  An extra day, what a bonus and I hope Ian is uplifted and can find some strength, shade,  and  further moments to treasure with you and your cats.

Take care, gardenlady. 

WE HAD SUCH A LOVELY BTEAK TOGETHER, DIGGING UP OLD MEMORIES AND EATING LOVELY FOOD AND WATCHING THE BUSY HARBOUR.  AND GETTING TO SEE ALAN DAVIES' SHOW TOGETHER AND TO LAUGH AND LAUGH WAS JUST LOVELY.

I DROVE US HOME YRSTERDAY IN EASY STAGES AND OUR WORLD PROCEEDED TO TUMBLE DOWN AROUND US.  THE RETCHING (WHICH REARED ITS HEAD BRIEFLY ON THU) CAME BACK WITH A VENGEANCE LAST NIGHT AND IAN WAS VERY MUDDLED IN HIS SPEECH WHEN WE HAD A CUPPA WITH FRIENDS ABOUT 4PM.  SO THIS MORNING I RANG THE HOSPICE TO SUGGEST A BLOOD TEST FOR BLOOD/CALCIUM .  THEY INSISTED I DRIVE IAN THE THIRTY MILES TO HOSPICE RATHER THAN HAVE THE BLOOD TEST DONE AT THE LOCAL LAB - AND TO BRING AN OVERNIGHT BAG AND OF COURSE MY GROCERIES. 

JUST AS WE WERE TO SET OFF I CHECKED MY EMAILS AND THERE WAS A MESSAGE FROM OUR TOXIC BUSINESS ACCOUNYANT DEMANDING THAT WE AGREE TO NO PROFIT AFTER HE BEGAN CHEMO ON 30 AUGUST 2011.  IF WE WERENT STRESSED BEFORE....

IS IT ANY WONDER IAN ENDED UP VOMITTING IN THE CAR ON THE 40MIN JOURNEY.

ON ARRIVAL AT HOSPICE IT WAS SUGGESTED WE GO TO THE NEARBY HOSPITAL AND WALK 200 METRES OR SO TO THE LAB FOR THE BLOOD TEST.  I THINK ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME AND MY ROTWEILLER TENDENCIES WILL KNOW THE REPLY THEY GOT!!!!

SO THE BLOODS HAVE BEEN TAKEN AND IAN SNOOZES ON THE BED AND WE WAIT FOR THE RESULT AND PROBABLY A 4HR IV DRIP.  I WONDER IF THEY WILL REMEMBER IAN HAD VOMITING AND DIAORRHEA AND 40DEG TEMPS AS SIDE EFFECTS LAST TIME???  MAYBE THEY DO AND THATS WHY WE NEEDED AN OVERNIGHT BAG.  I HAVE LEFT IT TO IAN TO DECIDE WHERE HE WANTS TO BE ... I CAN SLEEP ON THE FLOOR ON A MATTRESS.... BUT WHAT A COME-DOWN HAHAHA - FIVE STAR HOTEL SAT. NITE - HOSPICE FLOOR MON. NITE.

AND AS FOR THE FURBABIES.... I THINK I NEED TO PUT PHOTOS OF US UP ON THE WALLS SO THEY RECOGNISE US EACH TIME WE RETURN FROM OUR WANDERINGS.

SO A GROTTY DAY FOR US ...... BUT NOWHERE NEAR AS GROTTY AS EXPAT'S AND ALL THE OTHERS ON THIS SITE WHOSE LOVED ONES HAVE PASSED OR WHO ARE DESPERATELY ILL.

TAKE CARE EVERYONE - TREASURE EVERY MOMENT OF PLEASURE YOU HAVE AND NEVER!!!! TAKE FUN AND HAPPINESS FOR GRANTED.

LORRAINE

Hi Lorr,

Just back in 1 degree celsius UK, from 36 degree celsius Gambia. Both fit and well but tired probably isn't a big enough word.

Jan had a much needed and well deserved convalescent holiday: poolside under palm trees and plenty of interesting food. I had some man-type adventures by boat, 4x4 and on foot. The birdlife was incredible (on-land equivalent of snorkelling....too many differing species to have time to identify them). Felt a little wary about the number of vultures that chose to circle around wherever we would sit down. Did they know something we didn't?!

Glad to see that there are still some ups in Ian and your see-saw ride. I thought about you both whilst out of touch.

Will be in touch at greater length at a more civilised hour soon.

Russ

Russ, wonderful to hear from you.  Ian and I got our atlas out to track down The Gambia and I set my android cellphone weather report on Banjhul, the only Gambian place it had heard of.  As we would head off to bed facing 14 or 15deg C we would thank our lucky stars because we'd see your outrageous overnight "lows" and horrendous "highs."   What a hoot (pardon the bird pun!)  So Jan could sit by the pool and track your movements just by watching for the circling vultures hahahaha.

I guess you will have seen Expat's sad news.  How George continued the battle for as long as he did, bludgeoned by chemos as he was, is beyond me - and even more, it's beyond me that Ian continues to survive (and some days even thrive) when he's had advanced aggressive cancer for so very many years longer.  At one time I remember Expat said George was on every chemo and antibody therapy that Ian had had AT ONCE!

We ended up having a night at Hotel Hospice.  As the 4hr drip progressed Ian vomitted more and more.  I quickly reconciled myself to a night away from home - after just one night home hahahaha.  I didn't need to raid my grocery supplies in the car boot because Ian's evening meal remained untouched - so I scoffed the lot - especially the bread and butter pud!!!!  A nurse brought in sheets and blankets and pillows and a beautifully stitched quilt and set up the electric armchair beside Ian's bed and reclined it.  Oooohhh, I thought, just like 1st class on airlines years ago (not that I'd know of course - but I do watch the telly!).  Why, oh why anybody would have paid huge sums of money to try to sleep at a 20deg angle is beyond me.  Both hips proceeded to ache and I was constantly bugged by the polystyrene beads in the triangle pillow provided (and Ian was wondering what was making the constant rustling noises thinking it was odd that the hospice would allow mice in the rubbish tin!!!!).  At 2am I did some emails on my phone and at 3am I gave up even trying to relax (let alone sleep) and I got up to make us both milos.  The night shift nurse (who told me she had herself lost her husband to cancer) spotted me wandering the corridor and asked how she could help.  She was aghast that I hadn't chosen to sleep in the chair.  When she saw me there, she thought it had been my choice and had wondered why on earth I would try to sleep there.  It was a casual nurse who had organised it - the regulars know where the night stuff is.  It does beg the question why aren't the casuals educated by the regulars???  Five minutes later the two night nurses had me snuggled on two mattresses beside Ian's bed and we were holding hands and we dropped off immediately.  Four glorious hours of horizontal sleep later the banging and crashing and loud conversations from the corridor woke us to face another day in paradise.  But the doctor was happy that the Pamidronate IV had gone well and the three litres of IV fluids for dehydration had done their trick and pronounced Ian fit to go home (with a syringe driver again for two or three days) and we were told there was no rush to leave; just take our time.  Ian took them at their word and didn't get up until 3pm, summoning his grit and energy for the 40min journey home.  We stayed up for as long as we could so as not to go to bed in daylight (and then wake in the wee small hours with self-induced jetleg type insommnia) then scuttled off, leaving the Fur Family outside in the dark - no energy to coral rebellious Furries.  We slept the clock around and I had to rush to get breakfast this morning because the hospice-provided cleaning lady was coming at 11am as well as the district nurse and student to recharge the syringe driver.  My patient was reluctant to hurry to get up so he entertained we four ladies from his bed!!!!  After they had all (but me) gone, with no adoring audience, he got dressed and has been on the couch watching telly all afternoon.  He is now watching a replay of what is shaping up to be a trouncing of England by the Kiwis in the cricket a day or so ago.  He is more energetic, engaged in life again, no longer rambling and muttering rubbish - don't know what Pamidronate's got in it, but it's good stuff for fixing blood/calcium that's for sure.

So one step after another, day after day.  Our mantra for many weeks now has been "You are dying -but not yet" and Ian continues to prove it.  So Valentine's Day tomorrow.  Last year I drove us to a winery near Napier in the wine region for a slap-up lunch.  Tomorrow will probably be baked beans on toast after a blood test and the greatest gift of all - another day with my lovely man!!!

LK

Poor Gambia - just another asset seized by an expanding Empire!!  On our first flight to the UK in 1989 we were joined in our row of three seats from Abu Dhabi by an oil rig engineer from Wales.  He warned us that if we went to either Wales or France at all, we must make it very clear that we weren't English - then we'd get a better welcome.  We did a day trip to Bolougne by the old hovercraft service and we made sure our Kiwi accents were very strong that day - and were warmly welcomed 

Today is the third in a row of awful days.  Ian went to bed on Wednesday night and wouldn't get out again from then, other than to go to the toilet.  He also had three days of constipation.  He was tired, apathetic and flatly refused to dig deep for the energy to get up and shower.  When the public nurse came to our home yesterday I took her aside to brief her and gave her a few minutes with Ian alone.  She offered suppositories and assistance to shower the next day (today).  There is enough independence still left in Ian that he had a bowel motion within ten minutes of her leaving (followed very thoroughly by three more during the day) and this morning he let me coax him into the shower for me to shower him while I had my own shower.  A bit bizaare I guess - but a means to an end.  Then I asked a neighbour to help me put a spare single bed in the lounge so that Ian could lie (and snooze if he wanted) but be engaged in my day (and vice versa).  There is so much for me to do these days and I hate leaving him alone down the hallway in the bedroom with just his thoughts and regrets for company.  There is a very real risk of blot clot and I like to keep an eye on Ian for any sign of distress and definitely to be within earshot in case he should ask for help.  That strategy seemed to work well but at lunchtime the violent unproductive retching returned followed by an afternoon of sleep and then full-on vomitting at 6pm.  Each time I rang the hospice for advice and reassurance (mainly so I don't get lectured for not keeping them in the picture).  Ian's palliative care co-ordinator declared on Thursday that his blood calcium had lowered from 2.9 to an acceptable top-of-the-range of 2.6.  I suspect that isn't acceptable at all.  My research on the internet suggests that some people are within the range but display alarming side-effects, e.g. nausea and constipation.  Ian's situation will be reviewed by doctors and nurses on Monday.  Meantime we have Sunday to get through.  I am at last very focused on updating our Wills and putting the finishing touches to Ian's Advanced Directive.  I anticipate a fight to keep him at home and the Advanced Directive will be my weapon of choice when Ian can no longer speak for himself.  I have shilly-shallied for too long in getting this done and I believe we are fast approaching the end of the journey.  How can I type that calmly - I suspect because it is a very surreal situation and a large part of my brain refuses to accept what my eyes are seeing.  Time for bed.  Ian has the benefit of a double-dose of Nozinan nausea control which will make him very sleepy.  I think my homeopathic sleepdrop remedy will have its work cut out tonight.