thank you daffodane for shareing your experience,like you,I am finding it so distressing seeing my father's loss of dignity.hope you are copeing with your grief..

hi lenora my grandad has picked up a bit he has not been sleeping as much and he is eating better but i no this means hes not  on the mend its just nice to see him kind of back to his normal self and my nans pleased he is eating again as she was really worried, will keep u posted of any change  thank u for writing back xx

hi

  sorry to hear about your grandad. i lost my mum in may to lung cancer. its awfull playing the waiting game. it must be hard for you and your family. try and stay strong i no its hard and takes a lot out of you. give him loads of cuddles love claire xxx

pleased he is a bit brighter,make the most of the time you have ,talk about his favourite things.

Charlotte,

Lovely for all those around your grandad, and of course your Grandad himself that he is eating a bit...It will help to settle and relax him. It is good you recognise this is not a sign he is on the mend as I read some heartbreaking stories that because someone has eaten a bit of toast and a cuppa he is recovering...The stories are heartbreaking as they make the experience like a rollercoaster or yoyo.

Keep spending time there, talk about old times, not just you and grandads but maybe get some photos out when he were a lad! This may bring a tear to peoples eyes but it is lovely to remember good times in order to ensure the mind is nicely balanced. I know I may be being contreversial here but death doesn't have to be unbalanced. I plan a nice calm way out...family and friends, talking about old times and having a few smiles....I am going to tell everyone that visits me that they have to have a good 'balanced' story or even better a photo with a good story. Calmness is the name of the game with me.

I am so glad that your grandad has you, you seem a lovely person who cares so much for him...

Much Love

Tony xxxx

thank you tony you are a very brave man your family must be so proud of how you are dealing with things with a positive attitude instead of letting that horrible c word get you down. im going to see my grandad today so ill ask my nan what she thinks about getting out some photos she was only saying the other day that she hasnt heard him laugh for a while so im sure she will give it a go thank you once again tony xx 

Dear Lenora,

I am coping in a very strange way to the events that have happened to my father. Not what I expected to have happened, perhaps it is grief, but it's not all misery as I imagined. Although what has happened is tragic, there is strength to be taken from how my father dealt with his death, and in doing so, something deep down has changed in me. Knowingly or not, he has given me a parting gift.

Hello Charlotte,sadly my dad has passed away,on the 13th decemberI can't believe how sudden it was only eight weeks from diagnosis.I feel quite numb at the moment.will keep checking your postings to see how you are doingx

Hello daffadone,my dad passed away on the 13th december,feel numb at the moment he was very brave,as you know there's so much to cope with regarding funeral arrangements,I think the prayers of my friends are helping me cope,pleased you are finding the strenghth to carry on having a spiritual outlook certainly helps.

so sorry to hear that  lenora  my grandad is having up and down days as to be expected i suppose he was finding it hard  to sit up the other day, he has a carer going there once a day to help him get dressed, washed etc to help my nan but they were told it is going to stop sunday as they have had it free  of goverment for so many weeks but now there being told they have to pay for sombody to come out. i think its disgraceful how they expect my nan to lift him etc is sickening if anybody reading this can give me any advice as to what they are entitled to it would be great thanks, take care lenora and i will keep u posted xxx