I was diagnosed with IDC (breast Cancer) in August of 2007, I went through the chemo, the bilateral mastcetomy, My whole circle of family and friends were a huge support to me going through this. We had lost my father in 1996 to a brain tumor, he was only 49. In June of 2009 my oncologist told me that I have Adenocarcinoma effecting the inferior mediastinal nodes, on the outside on my lungs, he labled me terminal, 6 months to a year, I am now in my 8th month, enrolled Hospice since July. I am only (just)) 38. I have no one to talk to that understands what this is like, my whole circle for whatever reason, perhaps the burden of my upcoming death, have walked away from me. I ask my Hospice nurse "isn't there other dying people out there that i can talk to? Other terminally ill people that will TRULY understand my thoughts, my feelings?" She said simply, "no" So I decided to look online for a terminal chat room, and this is what i found. I am afraid to die alone, afraid to die when my Hospice people are not here. I need others that understand the harsh realities of being terminally ill with a very agile mind because i am young. I never married nor had any children, out of choice, I wanted to pursue my carrer in the arts before i settled down. I was able to have a final wish come true through The Dream Foundation, which was way cewl :)... At any rate, I just don't understand why everyone has walked away from me, it is my belief that my circle of friends and family are tapping their fingers "waiting for that phone call", i feel like a bad secret that everyone put in the closet..... Why can't birds of a feather flock together?- Why do the dying have no one to relate to? I feel very alone in my journey as my symptoms remind me everyday that i am Terminal...
Alone,
Terminal
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