Hi Katie5111, 

I am so sorry this is happening to your dad and that he has found out his cancer has spread and it must be all the more unsettling not knowing what the primary source is and to see it has spread to the lung, stomach, bladder, liver and nodes around oesophagus and that he is not eating and sleeping so much. It's so sad that you may only have weeks with him. 

I wanted to make you aware of a section we have on our website on dying with cancer which can be a very hard read but you will find there useful information to help prepare you for the next few weeks as well as resources for help and support when someone is dying. Looking after someone in the last weeks of life can be a huge emotional and physical challenge and we also have a page on caring for the carer when someone is dying. I would also recommend you read our section on support at home for you and your family. It is a lot to take in and if you wanted to talk to one of our cancer nurses about this, they are available on this free number 0808 800 4040 - their helpline is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

I am not sure how long it normally takes after a consultant puts in an urgent referral for nursing support at home. It might be worth asking his medical team for more information on how long these referrals tend to take in your area and checking as well at the same time whether it would be possible to keep him at home in his own bed. They will be able I am sure to give you some advice on this or point you in the right direction. 

We're thinking of you during this difficult time and wanted you to know you are not alone and I hope that you will hear from others on here who have been through something similar before and that they will be happy to share their experience with you. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator