Have you asked your mum as I am sure leaving college is not something she would want you to do at 17 years of age Renfyld? I know as a mum myself the last thing I would want is for my daughter to stop college to look after me if I was bed bound. Your right life is not fair. I have worked in palliative care, and many people lasted for years, with your mum you do not know how long she has got do you. Bless you it is very hard to deal with, especially at such a young age. Big hug sent to you.

i spoke to her today and we both cried a bit. she told me she wants me to continue living my life and that she'll never be truly gone because she'll be in me. we look very similar so she told me to look in the mirror when i miss her. i've reached out to my friends aswell and its really helped. i tend to spiral and get overwhelmed with all my feelings and i struggle to talk about it but i've been trying to be more honest and to say the things i feel to my mum. we spoke about how much we love each other and how i'll miss her and it has helped with the anticapory grief. i have some counselling sessions soon so hopefully i'll have less moments where i feel like this. thank you for your advice

i am thank you. sometimes the greif becomes a lot and i think thats when the guilt starts. now i've calmed down a bit, i realise that i need to acheive my goals because my life wont end with my mums. i hope that things feel easier for you as well

Therapy is very helpful I’m going to it myself and also seeking some specific to this! It’s so overwhelming I find it effects me so much more when I’m not busy or on my own but I can’t stay busy all the time yanno? I’m trying to let myself feel it in little bursts so it doesn’t overwhelm me so easily but obviously still stupidly overwhelming and thank you they think me mums got 6 months but is seemingly healthy so it’s very hard to get my head around!

its so difficult. i got told my mum had 6 months aroind 3 years ago. the fact that its so unknown is very hard. i like your idea of doing it in small parts. it'll still hurt but it might be easier for me to understand that way

I am so pleased to hear you have talked to your mum that is good to hear. Counselling is Free in the NHS, I have had over a year of Counselling, I cried buckets Renfyld, but it does help I know it does. Well done for being honest with your mum x

thank you, i have some through macmillan soon but its only six sessions. i think i might try and get a more long term therapist

I agree grief is so painful n I think anticipatory is worse when my mum got diagnosed over a yr ago I thought podcast and facts were helpful but like you said given 6months 3 years ago is soooo confusing and hard to know what to do with yourself!

I am having a cancer buddy that calls me once a week for I think its 12 weeks (But she is not a qualified counsellor.) She does help though.

I contacted a qualified Psychiatrist through my Doctor, at the cancer and haematology department. I was lucky to have once a week with a Psychiatrist who works for the NHS. It may be worth you talking to your Doctor?