Accepting: I have terminal ovarian cancer

Hi I have terminal ovarian cancer and I'm finding it hard to accept that I'm going to die in the foreseeable future, I am 66yr old ,I want to stay positive and do things with my children and grandchildren but my condition is painful and my strength is disappearing, I'm becoming more physically and mentally tired. Iam fighting with every ounce of me ,I'm so scared of leaving my beautiful family and after 34 years in the NHS i wanted to retire and enjoy the rest of my life going on holidays and outings sharing the lifes I of those I love.

How do I cope I cry in silence all the time and unable to smile and I'm normally polar opposite ,I'm angry and scared.

How do other people like me cope ,any advice would be lovely. X

  • Hi BetsyD,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I wanted to send a reply to your post to give it a little boost, so a few more people should see it and hopefully you'll get more replies.

    Do keep speaking to others where you can, as it helps to talk. I understand it may be difficult to speak to family or those close to you. We are always here on the forum if ever you want to write things down and reach out to others.

    From the homepage of the forum you can use the search bar at the top to find other relevant discussions and people to connect with.

    There are also other support options available, including Macmillan and Maggie's, who have various resources, helplines, and local support centres. This may help in terms of finding some coping mechanisms and also potentially meeting others.

    As I say, we're always here when you need it and I hope the forum can be useful for you.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Betsy,

    I know how you feel.  I too, have terminal ovarian cancer.  I am 72 and, like you, I have a beautiful family that I’m utterly heartbroken about leaving.  Two sons a three little granddaughters.  I thought I’d beaten it and pretty much got the all clear but it has come back with a vengeance.  No more treatment apart from a last gasp hormone treatment that the oncologist isn’t too hopeful about.

    I’ve updated my will, completed an advanced directive, made clear my wishes to die in hospice as I can’t have my sons looking after me.  I couldn’t bear that.

    ive started counselling so try to develop strategies to function as best as I can each day.  The reality is, of course, I’m living on borrowed time. I’m furious because I still feel fit and healthy and still go out walking etc but I’m dying.  How to deal with that?  I don’t know,  I also cry buckets but I’m getting my head around it a little better, I think.  

    if you want to chat, I’m here for you…….

    sending many supportive thoughts.