My husband has liver cancer he has just been put on palliative care ,we have been told he has only weeks to live , l am so upset l can’t stop crying l don’t know what to do
Guess the lack of replies speaks to the difficulty of "knowing what to say". No words, particularly from strangers, can alleviate your distress.
Just over 7 years ago my wife was discharged to home in same circumstances - although it was near impossible to get any stated "time". Because at home I was kept very busy, not just caring but chasing the promised daily help (I was told a nurse would visit day after discharge - in the event nearer three weeks!). Keeping busy helps deaden emotions.
I managed 5 weeks and then with immense effort found my wife a hospice bed for last 3 days.
If you are in similar position, husband at home, then practicalities will numb the pain. And it's exhausting ,- I had to sleep on the floor next to her bed in lounge. Actually more difficult I guess if your only role is visiting and soothing and if so then just talk ......happier times maybe?
Like everything it will pass and having a stated time frame is I think a help, although it probably doesn't feel it now.
All I can do is send a virtual "hug" and my great sympathy. Take care of yourself also.
Harry dog I feel very like you. My husband is in hospital waiting for a transfer to the hospice. We had wanted him to be at home but his condition is complex and he needs a lot of nursing care. He has just a few weeks to live and I cry every day. It’s heartbreaking to watch the love of your life getting weaker day by day. I try to be brave and not cry around him but I’m so sad. I think it’s called anticipatory grief in that he’s not gone yet but in some ways I feel he has. Our lovely life is behind us. I know we must look to being together in these last days and being grateful for all the good times. It’s incredibly hard though isn’t it? You’re not alone in how you feel. It’s good to hear stories like Dave. We will get through this x
My husband David passed away 1st November he died a terrible death it’s wasn’t nice too see his last last hours before he died , he now at pease but lm heartbroken l can’t get over the loss
So sad for you Harrydog. I can feel how heartbroken you must be. It’s so easy to say this and I know many of my friends are saying the same to me but try hard to look after yourself
My thoughts are with you as i am going through the same anticipatory grief following my wife of 12 years who was diagnosed with stage 4 Liver cancer back in October. The last few weeks have been so tough but i need to remember that we have a wonderful 10yr old boy that i need to be here for and if anything that is what is keeping me going.
I’m so sorry to hear your news it’s so sad l know what you are going through,yes you have your son who will help you through this sad time ,all l can say you can both grief together and look after each other your wife will be with you in spirit look after yourselves sending lots of love share your happy times together and make memories together
Very sadly my husband has now passed away. He was transferred to the hospice from hospital and had a very calm peaceful atmosphere to slip away in. The staff were wonderful and supportive. I’m now trying very hard to come to terms with losing him. Although thinking I was prepared and having had months of anticipatory grief, I wasn’t ready. Who would be? But try to make the most of the time you do have. That’s what my husband’s attitude was and it helped him xx
Thank you both for your words of support and i am sorry that you have also had to endure this awful experience seeing our beloved go through this. I too send my heartfelt thoughts to you and please look after yourselves x
