Hello and welcome to the club that no-one ever wants to join.  It does sound like  your Dad is near to the end,  and I feel so sad for you.  The truth is that we are never truly prepared to lose those we  love, no matter how hard we try.  Please don't feel guilty that you are not feeling the way that you think you SHOULD be feeling...........grief is different for everyone.   It took a friend of mine 17 years before he was able to cry for the sister he lost.  Hold your Dad's hand and talk to him........remind him of all of the things that you did together......funny moments that he might have forgotten.  Tell him how much you love him.  This is VERY important.  My cousin still feels guilty that she never told her Dad (my uncle) how much she adored him.  You will always miss him,, but what I can tell you, having lost both my parents, is that it does get easier with time.  I am not saying that you ever COMPLETELY recover from the death of a loved one, but that raw, awful pain we feel gradually subsides in to a sad acceptance.  Once again, so sorry for you.  

Hello and welcome to the club that no-one ever wants to join.  It does sound like  your Dad is near to the end,  and I feel so sad for you.  The truth is that we are never truly prepared to lose those we  love, no matter how hard we try.  Please don't feel guilty that you are not feeling the way that you think you SHOULD be feeling...........grief is different for everyone.   It took a friend of mine 17 years before he was able to cry for the sister he lost.  Hold your Dad's hand and talk to him........remind him of all of the things that you did together......funny moments that he might have forgotten.  Tell him how much you love him.  This is VERY important.  My cousin still feels guilty that she never told her Dad (my uncle) how much she adored him.  You will always miss him,, but what I can tell you, having lost both my parents, is that it does get easier with time.  I am not saying that you ever COMPLETELY recover from the death of a loved one, but that raw, awful pain we feel gradually subsides in to a sad acceptance.  Once again, so sorry for you.