My mum was diagnosed in September with secondary peritoneal carcinoma- 

she had a stomach ache and thought she had a tummy bug for a couple of weeks as she couldn’t eat 

she ended up having life saving surgery 

that resulted in an Ileostomy  

since then however 

she has probably had 4 solid weeks out of the hospital 

It has been a constant 

she is so tired and fed up 

it’s a rollercoaster and I just don’t know what to expect 

I have moments of ‘normality’ but it’s this time of night 

I feel so physically and mentally overwhelmed with what is eventually gonna come 

It has taken so much out of her and I just can’t believe it’s actually happening- my heart breaks when I see her I feel a physical  pain to see how much she is suffering 

I don’t want her to go :,( but I don’t want her to ‘live’ like this 

I want to walk alongside this *** cancer but it’s just not letting us 

sorry I feel so lost sometimes 

overwhelmed and so incredibly sad  

she is our rock our diamond 

it’s so cruel