Hi mistygrey, I am so sorry to hear about your dad, having lost my mum to this horrible disease, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time.

I was in healthcare for 15 years 5 of which 5 were in palliative/cancer care and was very familiar with syringe drivers, and their only purpose is pain management, and having seen many people pass away, and not all peacefully, which is a truly distressing experience for everyone, I had to watch my mum go through hell for her last 2 weeks, pain management is so important, I know you would love to talk to your dad, even for just a little while, and maybe the Dr's can adjust his meds to you that chance, 

Eddie xx 

Hi Eddie thank you very much for your reply. 
my dad sadly passed away last night at 1 am he had an upped dose in the driver a few hours before he passed I don’t know if that’s coincidental or not, the day before his dose was also upped and he spent all of Friday and Saturday in a coma like state but breathing himself. It was truly distressing to witness this and him be in the hospice since Wednesday. 
He must have been terrified unable to speak near the end, he was speaking fine on Wednesday and a little bit of Thursday but then it went downhill and he was just mumbling incoherently. I’m truly devistated. I’m so sorry you had to loose your mum also to this awful illness I wish it had better more humane treatments and more cures available it’s heartbreaking. Thanks for writing at this time.

Hi I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear that your Father died last night ,you will feel very sad indeed after the days he had leading up to that ,you have a right to be truly devastated the only good thing is he won't be suffering anymore ,I hope you can have some comfort from knowing that ,God Bless you all x

So sorry to hear that your dad has passed away.  He was probably not aware of anything at the end, I know that with my mum, in addition to painkillers, there were also drugs in the syringe driver to reduce their distress and to relax her.  It is very hard to get over watching your loved die, but it does get easier I promise you.  You never get over it, just over time learn to remember the good times more than their final days.  I am now 2 years on from losing my mum, I still miss her every day, but I can remember her with a smile and know that she is at peace with my sister (who passed 15 years ago also from cancer).

Please be kind to yourself, I hope that you have people with you to support you through the coming days.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Annie

Thank you so much Eddie. You must have done a fantastic job of caring for people in those vulnerable times, it must be a very difficult job. I think people who work in Hospice settings and palliative care are real angels x